LIFE AS IT COMES

significant wins

2011-12-12T19:57:00.003+02:00

I recently had to fill out an annual role review for CRM where I made the comment that there have been times this year when I’ve wanted to be further along as a team both relationally and productively. I then went on to say that I’ve felt God moving my heart to extend grace to myself, especially in light of all that has happened this year.

The following day, as I went through my role review with my boss, Gary, he challenged me to consider this past year from another point of view. Instead of needing to extend myself grace for things we didn’t accomplish, what if I embraced the wins that our team did have this year. He then proceeded to point out a number of things that I had written in my role review that he considered to be significant “wins” during this year of transition.

1. We successfully made an international move – it was only 11 months ago, on January 20^th, that our family landed on American soil.

2. We’ve settled into St. Paul and our team is being woven into the fabric of the Hamline-Midway neighborhood.

3. We have some great relational connections – through Thirdway’s coffee house, the kids’ friends and their families, volunteering at local schools and spending time with neighbors, we have made some significant relationships.

4. We are mentoring young leaders - both Daleen and I meet weekly with young men and women, who are part of our community.

5. We are serving Thirdway, a church plant in our neighborhood – from serving on their leadership team to volunteering in their coffee shop, we are helping them fulfill their mission in our neighborhood.

6. I am walking alongside Seth, the leader of Thirdway – we have been meeting every couple of weeks to think through and consider important issues facing Thirdway. I have also begun to shoulder some of the teaching load at Thirdway.

7. We bought a house – in June we moved into our new house and we have made it our home.

8. We are networking with other church planters/missional communities in the area.

9. We are starting a small business, Bags by Hand, that is making jewelry bags for a local jeweler, as well as hand bags, which are being sold locally. This will not only help to meet our financial needs, but will help connect us into a network of creative locally-owned businesses.

10. We are developing a healthy, balanced rhythm of life for our family.

As my perspective shifts, and I begin to embrace the victories of this past year, my focus is moving from myself and my shortcomings to God and His faithfulness. With that, my “need for grace” is being transformed into a voice of gratitude. And, my demanding expectations of perfectionism are moving toward contentment in God’s goodness. This seems like a simple shift in perspective, yet it makes such a vast difference in how I understand this past year.

As we quickly approach the end of the year, won’t you take a few minutes to consider your year from the perspective of “embracing the wins in your life.” Most will find, as our family did, that there is much to be thankful for.

May you have a wonderful Christmas filled with joy and gratitude,

Bryan, Daleen, Kyle and Zoe

Launch

2011-10-17T18:59:00.010+02:00

As we move into Autumn and a new school year, we find ourselves moving into a new season of life and ministry here in the Twin Cities. Summer has been busy with the move into our home (June), Daleen’s trip to South Africa and her father’s passing (July) and a 4-week trip to the West Coast to visit family and friends, and to do some support raising (August). It’s good to be back in our neighborhood, which is feeling more and more like home.

Launch

In Spring, our team began the process of defining our identity within CRM. If CRM’s vision is to “empower leaders,” then what is the unique contribution of our team? After much deliberation, we felt like “Launch” was a good descriptor of our team vision. We desire to launch vibrant expressions of the Body of Christ that will reach those, who are unreceptive, and sometimes hostile, to the church as we know it. We also desire to launch leaders, who will pilot these young, vibrant, missional communities of faith.

Fresh Expressions

Over the past ten years we have participated in, given leadership and been exposed to a variety of “missional communities.” This has shaped a longing within us to see local expressions of church that are resolute in effecting transformation in the lives of its people, as well as the wider community where they live, work and play. We find such churches moving from building-centered to community-centered, from attractional programs to missional initiatives and from city-wide to neighborhood-focused.

Missional communities often experiment with alternative ways of gathering where members’ lives are woven together more consistently throughout the week. This will often lead people to live in close proximity to one another. It is proximity to one another that helps missional communities to participate more fully in the life of the local neighborhoods where they are located. And, as people live, work and play in a spirit of being “on mission,” lives are impacted, people transformed and the Kingdom expanded.

Unreceptive and Hostile

Many Christians desire for their church to be a welcoming place where people find Jesus. Unfortunately, for many, the church is not the place to go in their quest for Christ. In some cases, it is literally the last place people would go due to past hurts, painful experiences and a sense of “not being welcome.” We want to see followers of Christ mobilized in order to help others venture beyond these barriers, whether perceived or real, so that they might know Jesus and His transforming power.

Our team is trying to lead the way by building relationships with those, who are part of the vast Creative Arts community in the Twin Cities. We are also meeting our neighbors in the local places where they gather, inviting them into our homes and accepting invitations into theirs, engaging in service projects alongside them and tending to their hearts.

Leaders

A church living on mission requires leaders, who have the character, gifts and experience to guide her into uncharted territories. Leaders who will not only inspire with their words, but will demonstrate by their actions what it means to follow God in the way of Jesus. In contrast to always looking for outside “experts,” we are encouraging and assisting churches to cultivate leaders from within, based on faithfulness, gifting, experience and knowledge.

My Father

2011-08-03T01:35:00.003+02:00

When we moved to Minnesota in January, we knew that my dad was dying and it was only a matter of time. We knew that there was a very good chance that we would never see him again. Taking my kids away from my parents at such a time was one of the hardest things I have ever done; however, Bryan and I deeply believed that it was God’s time for us to move. It was my “Abraham moment”, and I didn’t want an “Ishmael situation” on my hands. So we left.

Thus began a 5-month plea that God would give me a week with my dad before he passed, and a couple of weeks to care for my mom afterwards. With my brother also living in Minnesota, my father’s passing would mean that my mom would be alone to deal with my dad’s death. I could not imagine that for her.

My dad had been ill for a long time, and there was no way to tell when he would go. I felt like I was walking a tightrope that could snap at any time. There were no promises or guarantees, just blind faith that God’s goodness and faithfulness would extend to every detail of my torn heart. I prayed that God would tell me exactly when to go…

In the end of June, God started pressing in on my heart that it was time. We booked a ticket that allowed me to stay for 3 weeks. The morning after I arrived in South Africa, we brought my dad home from the hospital, and for the next 5 days I helped my mother take care of him. My dad was never really lucid and only said my name once, but I spent a lot of time praying for him and reading the Psalms to him.

On day 6, I was tired and emotionally worn out, so I went to do some shopping and banking for my mother. I was planning on taking my time drinking in the familiarity of home, but God, in His grace, had other plans.

I took one turn rather than another into the local mall and spotted a car out of the corner of my eye. It looked like the car of my friend who lives on the other side of town. And then I saw her daughter get out of the car. Of all the spaces in the parking lot, that was the only one where I would have noticed her. I pulled over, we hugged and cried. As we spoke, she shared about the day that her father passed away a few years ago. She told me how she went to help her mother, and one day while she left to run a 10-minute errand, her father passed away.

As I started my shopping, I kept thinking how crushed I would be if I came all this way to be with my dad and he died while I was at the store. I abandoned my shopping and rushed home. When I arrived home, my mother called for me and told me that it was time. I held my dad and told him how much we loved him, how much he meant to us and how much we would miss him, but that we wanted him to be whole again, to be restored and to be with God whom he loved with all his heart. And as I held him he slipped out of this world into the next.

In His amazing mercy, God heard the cry of my heart, guided me in his perfect timing, and even chose my friend, Sonja, to guide me back home. For many, such events may seem insignificant, but as I reflect over my time in South Africa and God’s care and faithfulness, I will never again doubt how much God cares about the desires of my heart.

With love, Daleen

third places

2011-06-11T05:23:00.013+02:00

The Word became flesh and blood,

and moved into the neighborhood.

John 1:14 (The Message)

Jesus set the example. He came to be with us. He “pitched his tent” and lived among us, inviting us into his world. He ushered the kingdom into our global neighborhood.

place

People desire to know their place in this world. We want to have a place where we fit in. A place where we are known. A place where we can be the person God created us to be. A place in the work that God is doing in and around us.

Daleen and I are slowly, but surely finding our place here in Minnesota. When we landed in the Twin Cities, we were embraced by a community of people that make up Thirdway. We were welcomed by Daleen’s brother’s family and their friends. And we were included in the wider CRM community that lives in Minneapolis/St. Paul and throughout the U.S. We were blessed to step into a network of people that extends into our neighborhood and far beyond.

However, not everyone is so fortunate.

From what I see, many people struggle to find a place where they fit. They struggle to find a community that welcomes and embraces them. They struggle to find their place.

third places

According to Wikipedia, 'third place is a term used in the concept of community building to refer to social surroundings separate from the two usual social environments of home and the workplace. In his influential book The Great Good Place, Ray Oldenburg argues that third places are important for civil society, democracy, civic engagement, and establishing feelings of a sense of place.

Oldenburg calls one's "first place" the home and those that one lives with. The "second place" is the workplace — where people may actually spend most of their time. Third places, then, are "anchors" of community life and facilitate and foster broader, more creative interaction.'

groundswell

In the spirit of Jesus, the people of Thirdway Church decided it wasn’t enough to travel in and out of the Midway-Hamline area. They began moving into the neighborhood at a time when many were moving out. As they pitched their tents in the neighborhood, they became part of the fabric of local life. Eventually, they bought a neighborhood coffee shop with the hope of creating a third place for those in the neighborhood.

From what I’ve experienced, Groundswell is a great success. I cannot tell you how many relationships with my neighbors have been fostered at the coffee shop. Groundswell is also growing as a local hub by hosting art shows, music nights and poetry readings. There is a telling joke among transplants to Minnesota that goes something like this: Minnesotans are so nice that they will give you directions to anywhere, except their home. In a culture that may not readily invite into their homes, third places become even more crucial.

According to Wikipedia, “all societies already have informal meeting places; what is new in modern times is the intentionality of seeking them out as vital to current societal needs.” In light of this, we are growing in our ability to create third places where others are exposed and introduced to the love of Christ, the reality of God’s kingdom and His community.

Cold is a relative thing

2011-05-10T20:38:00.006+02:00

I just got this list from a woman, who grew up in Minnesota, but now lives elsewhere. It actually gives some insight into the Minnesota psyche and their pride of survival in extreme conditions. Last year, they built an outdoor stadium for baseball in Minneapolis. My family got to enjoy their first professional baseball game ever on April 27th. It was around 35 degrees and snowing, and the stadium was 75% full when the game started. As I learn more about these hearty people of the North, the well-known description of Russians comes to mind - "a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma." Enjoy.

65 degrees Arizonans turn on the heat. People in Minnesota plant gardens.

60 degrees Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Minnesota sunbathe.

50 degrees Italian & English cars won't start. People in Minnesota drive with the windows down.

40 degrees Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats. People in Minnesota throw on a flannel shirt.

35 degrees New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Minnesota have the last cookout before it gets cold.

20 degrees People in Miami all die. Minnesotans close their windows.

0 degrees Californians fly away to Mexico. People in Minnesota get out their winter coats.

10 below zero Hollywood disintegrates. The Girl Scouts in Minnesota are selling cookies door to door.

20 below zero Washington DC runs out of hot air. (Ya think? Nah.). People in Minnesota let their dogs sleep indoors.

30 below zero Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Minnesotans get upset because they can't start the snowmobile.

40 below zero ALL atomic motion stops. People in Minnesota start saying..."Cold enough for ya?"

50 below zero Hell freezes over. Minnesota public schools will open 2 hours late.

transition

2011-04-08T18:06:00.006+02:00

Bryan and I love adventure. We would rather experience new places than own new things. And for the last 13 years we have dragged our kids all over the world, and we have loved every moment of it. In our minds, we have enriched our childrens' lives beyond measure. And they have endured it, believing that they are richer for the things they have seen and the places they have been.

Today, I take my hat of to my children because this new adventure of moving to Minnesota has cost them everything that they held dear. And, although this move holds treasures yet to come, the cost has been great.

I have seen Kyle and Zoe give their possessions away because we could not bring them with. I have seen them say farewell to friendships that were as old as they are. I held them when they gave away their pets, their home, and everything they have ever known to be home. And, I had to drag them crying away from my parents, knowing that we might not ever see my dad again.

And they did all of this because we told them this is what God has for our family. They did this because they trust that Bryan and I know what we are doing. They did this because they had very little choice.

On the first of February we sent them to school, after just two weeks in America, which was spent living in my brother's basement. In South Africa, they went to an Afrikaans-speaking school where they went barefoot with kids they have known since preschool. Here they knew no one, and it was snowing outside. Since then, they have had to read, write and do math in English. They've done projects, took part in plays, rode the school bus in the freezing cold and faced school bullies.

As an adult, this transition has been very hard on me. There have been days when I didn't want to get out of bed, or to see people. There have been a couple of days where I have sulked and moped around the house in my PJ's just because I could. Unlike Kyle and Zoe, Bryan and I have the freedom to adjust to this new life in our own time. Kyle and Zoe leave the house at 8 a.m. and get back after 4 p.m., and then they have to start with homework. My kids have had little time for themselves or for sulking around. And when they do break down, I often have the expectation for them to keep their cool and get with it.

Kyle and Zoe are my heroes. I know, they lose it sometimes and have their fair share of struggles. However, in spite of having their entire world turned upside-down, they have fought to embrace their new life. They not only do what is expected of them, but they have thrown themselves fully into life as we now know it. I stand amazed at their ability to cope, their tolerance for change and their spirit that seems to flourish wherever we take them.

I thank God for Kyle and Zoe, who teach me every day what it means to walk by faith alone.

With all my heart, Daleen

Our New Hood

2011-03-18T01:15:00.008+02:00

As you drive down University Avenue toward the Midway neighborhood, you will quickly realize that you are no longer in the suburbs. The first thing you will most likely notice is the hodge-podge of ethnic restaurants ranging from Mexican food to a Thai-French Bakery. It also seems as though each ethnic group has their own grocery store. And, unlike many of the “cuter” areas, there are no quaint brick buildings with their row of coffeehouses, restaurants and local pubs. No, University Avenue is an eclectic arrangement of buildings and businesses that seem to have no rhyme or reason.

Although the Midway neighborhood is not considered to be a “nice” area of town, we are realizing just how much we enjoy living along the University Avenue corridor. First of all, we love that it is very centrally located. We can find most of what we need in and around our neighborhood, and nothing seems to be more than a 20-minute drive away. Not bad considering we are in a metropolitan area with more than 2.5 million people. In 5 minutes we can be in downtown St. Paul, and in 10-15 minutes we can be in downtown Minneapolis.

We also love the diversity. One stop at the local Walmart and you will quickly realize just how many different ethnic groups are represented in our neighborhood. I was recently shopping at a nearby store and there were three ladies working together and each of them was from a different country of origin. Then, when I left the store, I read a bumper sticker that said, “As for me and my house, we will serve Allah.” That was a new one for me.

We also enjoy the fact that many of the local businesses are run by people, who live in our neighborhood. While I've been working on this newsletter here at Groundswell (Thirdway's coffeehouse), I've met two different local business owners. And, yesterday, Daleen and I had an interesting talk with the owner of a local bookstore about the new light rail system that will run along University Avenue.

We've heard a lot of mixed messages regarding the new light rail system that would connect downtown St. Paul with downtown Minneapolis. Some think it will bring in a lot of business to our neighborhood. Others are concerned that the process of building the light rail will actually be the ruin of local businesses as the road will be torn up and electricity could be turned off for up to four months at a time. Some people look forward to a rise in the price of their home, while others fear that middle- and low-income residents will no longer be able to afford to live in the area. Needless to say, there is a lot of concern for the future of our neighborhood and the people who live here. Whatever the outcome of the light rail system, we look forward to walking alongside our neighbors as they navigate the changes to come.

While some are pulling out of places like Midway, there are people, like Thirdway, who are moving into the neighborhood. And, we believe that such missional communities are strategically positioned to bring the realities of God's kingdom into these culturally diverse, transitioning neighborhoods. We are excited to collaborate with churches like Thirdway, who seek to be a blessing and contend for the people who live along the University corridor.

Grateful to be in the neighborhood, B, D, K and Z

Hotdish

2011-02-08T23:53:00.006+02:00

For the past two years, Daleen and I have been praying about and considering the ever-gentle nudge of the Spirit to move to America. After 19 years of living outside the borders of America, there was much to consider. As we looked at various options, there were several things that drew me to Minnesota. I know, many of you will immediately think, "It must not have been the weather," but truth be known, I enjoy a good, brisk -10 degrees as much as the next guy.

Actually, the weather had very little to do with our move, but it does reflect a deeper truth. Extreme winter weather is new for us as a family, and it is that "newness" that was attractive. After living overseas for nearly 20 years, it can be difficult to re-enter ones native culture. It doesn't necessarily seem difficult, but that is precisely the problem. It is easy to assume that I know what America is like, and that I understand the values of my native culture. Daleen and the kids can also make the same mistake because they have been to America on numerous occasions and have been surrounded by Americans in NieuCommunities.

Our move to Minnesota has forced us to become learners. We really don't know our way around all that well. We don't know what there is to do for fun or where people hang out. We didn't come with our own furniture, car or the right clothes. And, we certainly don't pretend to know Minnesota culture. For instance, someone at church asked if I was going to bring a "hotdish" to the community meal. At first, I figured they were speaking about Daleen, but then I realized that I had no idea what they were talking about. I came to find out that a hot dish is a casserole, which usually includes cream of onion soup. And, according to Wikipedia, the history of the hotdish goes back to when budget-minded farm wives needed to feed their own families, as well as congregations in the basements of the first Minnesota churches. Who knew?

Small things like this serve as constant reminders to slow down, take notice, listen and observe. And, although there is much to learn as we submerge into the local culture, one thing that we can say with confidence is that the term "Minnesota Nice" is a good description of the people of Saint Paul. Friends and family (and friends of family) have given generously to help us settle into this new place that we call home.

Moving

2011-01-24T14:43:00.008+02:00

January 2011

As you read this, we will most likely be experiencing our first week of living in America. The emotions we are experiencing range from extreme excitement to deep sadness, and just about everything in between. As I sit here writing this newsletter my stomach clenches in a knot at the thought of saying goodbye to Daleen's parents, yet I am filled with peace, knowing that we are being obedient to all that God has shown us over the past 2 years.

Africa

Africa has gotten under my skin and grabbed a portion of my heart that previously laid dormant. From my first two-week trip in 1994, Africa has seeped and finagled its way into the deepest parts of who I am. Rugby, cricket, netball and soccer. Embracing new cultures, discovering that different isn't necessarily right or wrong, learning to accept, and contending for people that I love. The African bush, the unbelievable wildlife, the red-orange dirt and the incredible sunsets. New rhythms of life, margin in my day, life-changing challenges and a quietening of my spirit.

Generosity Abounding

It's not always easy to give hilariously, but Daleen and I can both attest to the fact that we have been unable to out-give God. Over the past few months, we were constantly faced with opportunities to give to others as we purged our life of material things. Each time we responded in faith, which sometimes took some real soul-searching, God would somehow meet one of our needs in a way that we could have never foreseen. These “gifts” ranged from words of encouragement to free cars, and everything in between.

We also know that many of you have bathed this transition in prayer. To know that people are walking with us in a spirit of prayer has given us the confidence to face the challenges, and continue the journey toward our next assignment. We cannot thank you enough for your generosity of spirit.

Goodbye

There is nothing like packing up your house, and all your belongings, to put life in perspective. You will quickly realize that who you are is not contained in what you have. As we surveyed our “things,” we realized that the important things that we wanted to take with us were the things of the heart. Photos, artwork, special gifts, etc. were the things that won out in the end, and the rest was either sold or given away. Those of you who have done it will know that there is something freeing, almost cleansing, about this process.

However, the most difficult thing about leaving is saying goodbye to the people we love. In light of this, we would like to ask if you would join us in praying for Daleen's parents. Our move to America means that both of their children and all their grandchildren will be living in the U.S. They are also in the process of relocating from a 250-acre piece of land in a nature reserve to a small house in a retirement village. Daleen's father continues to have dialysis three times a week and is also battling blood cancer. We pray that God would comfort, heal and renew them in a special way in the days and months to come.

Landing

As we land in Minnesota, our family begins a new chapter of life, and a new season of ministry. We will need to settle into a home, establish our team, and submerge into the rhythms of the Midway neighborhood of St. Paul, MN. Our whole family is excited to begin exploring this new place that we will call home.

We arrive on American soil with no furniture, no appliances, and very few winter clothes. If you would like to partner with us as we get settled, then please click here. Thank you for journeying with us as we explore the unforced rhythms of grace.

team

2010-12-09T17:25:00.006+02:00

team

people working together in a committed way to achieve a common goal or mission

As we make our way to Minneapolis/St. Paul, we do so as a team. Tiffany Mayes is a fellow CRM staff person from Southern California, who she will be joining our family on this journey. Tiffany is 28 years old and graduated from San Diego State University (my alma mater) with a degree in Economics. Her family has been working with CRM for 14 years, and her father is the leader of ChurchNEXT, which makes him our boss.

We got to know Tiffany when she came to South Africa in 2006 to launch an Enterprise International business to help support CRM ministries in the area. Tiffany then went on to work for CRM-UK in London, where her heart was to reach “creatives” and intellectuals, who are beyond the cultural reach of the existing church. Tiffany hopes to gain valuable experience in the years to come and then one day return to the British Isles to continue her ministry there. We are excited to have Tiffany aboard for this journey as she shares our heart to live “on mission” wherever we find ourselves.

We also have a wider team that surrounds us as we embark on this new adventure. You. You are part of a team of people, who partner with us through prayer, financial support, encouragement and love. Without you, we wouldn't attempt such a journey – it would simply be too much for us. The “support” role is not always the role that gets noticed, but I believe this role to be so vital that we would be fools to embark on this journey without you.

expedition

an organized journey or voyage for a specific purpose, esp. for exploration

As I think about our upcoming move to Minnesota, I think of it in terms of an expedition. We are not just haphazardly flying off to some other part of the world, but rather, we are embarking on a voyage that has been designed by God. And, although we have some idea of what lies ahead, there is much to be discovered. Therefore, as we prepare for our departure in mid-January, our team has begun to listen.

Listening is an art. It is a discipline. It is a posture of life. Rather than blaze into the Twin Cities ready to change things, we will arrive with hearts ready to discover. We will treat Minneapolis/St. Paul like any other place we have ever moved to. We will observe, ask questions, take notice and celebrate what God has been doing long before our arrival. We will come as learners.

Once we are physically present in St. Paul, we will actively listen and explore, knowing that God will lead us into the roles, the lives and the places that He has for us. We will slowly begin to submerge into Thirdway, the Midway neighborhood, local culture and individual lives. We commit to learn, practice and encourage others in missional living, spiritual formation, creativity and new expressions of faith communities.

We honestly cannot wait to begin this expedition. It has been over two years in the making and it is time to set sail. We invite you to stay the journey with us, and continue to be that wider community of support that our family so vitally needs. Who knows where these winds might take us?

letter from the President (of CRM)

2010-11-08T10:30:00.004+02:00

Dear Friends of Bryan and Daleen Ward,

At this time of year, I usually exert “executive privilege” to write this November newsletter, first to thank you for your prayers and your giving toward the support of the Ward family. Against this economic backdrop, that gratitude is more poignant and deeply felt than ever. On their behalf, ThankYou!

From all indicators, it appears the U.S. economy is gradually and painfully, pulling out of the worst economic downturn since World War II. But it has been a difficult year for many—a plunge in real estate values, lost savings and retirement income, and for some, unemployment. I know few families—including my own—who have not been affected by these tough economic times.

For CRM and the 400 plus men and women who serve with us around the world, it has been a stretching, if not trying, year. Almost all have had some percentage of donors either reduce or stop their support. Many faithful supporters who have historically given generously out of assets have not been able to do so in 2010, because those assets have simply shriveled up. It has been particularly difficult for our younger staff who are faithfully following the call of God and embarking on ministry careers as they have begun to raise personal support.

Such times have provided a unique opportunity for us to live out Philippians 4:12: “I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need.”

At the same time, it has been a remarkable year as I have watched God supply needs over and over again. It has been touching, and humbling, to see so many friends and supporters step into the gaps and give sacrificially. On behalf of Bryan and Daleen, thank you for your friendship, your prayer, and your support. Your generosity has been a tangible expression of a sovereign God who is not caught by surprise nor out of touch with our lives and daily needs. He can be trusted.

Despite the economy, new CRM personnel have been added to our teams worldwide throughout 2010. We’ve opened up new countries. Leaders in existing churches and those starting fresh expressions of the church have been empowered. Our missionaries living on the fringes of society who minister among the poor and the marginalized have continued to give of themselves, living out in word and deed the presence of Jesus. Our work has continued to thrive and even expand as committed and highly skilled men and women have step forward in the spirit of Isaiah 6, “… here am I, send me.”

I also use this opportunity in November to lay out once a year exactly where the Wards are in their financial situation. Because you believe in them and have supported them with your resources and prayer, we believe you would want to know straightforwardly what their needs are. We have confidence that those who love and back these folks can hear from God and know how he would have them respond.

In 2010, the Bryan and Daleen have been running 14% short of the budget prescribed for them by CRM. As you know, in addition to this, the Wards will be relocating to America soon, which will also increase their financial needs by approximately $500 per month. They need to raise that additional amount in the coming months.

These budgets are carefully constructed and the salary portions are modest by almost any standard. They also include a host of other items beyond salary, such as health insurance, disability, ministry expenses, and retirement. Particularly in times like these, CRM and those who serve with us are committed to using your gifts effectively and being the best stewards possible of your hard-earned dollars.

Would you prayerfully consider what part God would have you play in meeting the need I described above? Perhaps you are in a place where you can help out, and particularly help pick up the slack from others who have been hurt in the economic downturn. Whatever you can do will go a long way. For your convenience, you can go online at www.crmleaders.org.

Again, thank you for your friendship with the Wards and the encouragement you’ve been to them. We are honored to have them serving with CRM and honored to have your partnership in ministry.

Gratefully in Christ,
Dr. Sam Metcalf
President, CRM

well...between

2010-10-15T07:58:00.007+02:00

well

As we transition from one place to another, from one missional context to another, we keep asking ourselves what it means to finish well here in South Africa. Our family recently sat down to make a list of all the people and places we'd like to visit in order to say “goodbye” to our lives in South Africa. As I look at the list, it seems a bit daunting because there are a lot of significant people we'd love to spend time with. And, there are a lot of special places we'd like to visit one last time as a family. This will take some time and planning, but it will be worth the effort as we release one context in order to embrace another.

In addition to finishing well, we'd like to transition well. I've been thinking more and more about what it means to transition well. Contrary to popular belief, the end doesn't always justify the means. We want to walk through this time with the same integrity, passion, peace and sense of mission that we hope for in Minneapolis/St. Paul. Location does not determine how our lives are lived.

Two words have become increasingly helpful in shaping my thinking about how we, as a family, would like to navigate this transition. The words expectancy and expectation help paint a mental picture of how I want to live while in transition. Expectancy trusts, while expectation seeks to control. Expectancy submits, while expectation demands. Expectancy hopes, while expectation worries. Expectancy rests, while expectation strives. I want to be filled with a sense of expectancy of all that God has for us, while keeping a check on my expectations.

between

During this time of transition, we keep finding ourselves yearning to be in Minnesota. However, when we stop and consider our lives right here, right now, we realize that our lives are good. When we consider the people we are pouring our lives into, and the daily opportunities to live out the mission God has given us, we see a design in the present.

Finishing up the “life compass” process with our friends Christo and Petro as they prepare to emigrate to Australia. Journeying with Busi as she embraces her calling after a year of NieuCommunities. Walking with Doug and Colletta as they explore their future ministry with CRM as a newly married couple. Helping Christo, Johannes, Chris and others process all that God is doing in their lives. Loving our neighbors, who are facing financial difficulties. All of these people are significant to us and part of our contribution to the kingdom here in Pretoria.

Yes, we'd love to sell this house. Yes, we'd love to have Daleen's visa in hand. Yes, we'd love to have a specific date and airline tickets. This tension of being content in the here and now, and the hope for what is to come, is the reality of the “in-between-ness” of transition. And in this in-between stage of our journey, in the midst of the unknown, we find life, purpose and meaning.

walking

2010-10-06T08:12:00.002+02:00

"Man, Africans sure do walk slowly!" That was my first thought as I observed a young, African couple with their baby stroller walking down the street near my house. "If they were walking any slower, they'd be going backwards," was probably my second thought.

All of a sudden I was very aware of how people were walking, and images began to flood my thoughts. I could picture Western women with their "jogging strollers" running through the neighborhoods of my mind. I could see white people walking "with purpose," going somewhere. And, finally, I could see myself walking briskly through my neighborhood with my kids on their bikes because we only have 15 minutes before dinner.

As I thought about the African couple with their stroller, the one thing I could remember is the way they were looking at each other. The way they were enjoying each other. Lost to the world and enraptured in a moment in time. My judgmental thoughts of their "slowness" quickly gave way to a constructive envy.

As a "Westerner," I struggle with slowing down. It seems that I always have to have a goal. Even when I walk through my neighborhood with my kids I am, more often than not, bound by how far we want to go, or how much time we have. And, before I know it, the journey has given way to the destination.

Unfortunately, my physical life often mirrors my spiritual life. I often approach my time with God in much the same manner, as if there is a goal other than being with Him. As though I must "get something" from my time with Him or else I may have wasted it. And, oh, how we hate to waste time.

As I get older, I find that being with Him is the goal. Resting and enjoying His presence is what He calls me to. Yes, He is concerned with who I become, what I do and how I live, but first and foremost He wants me. All the other things will flow from that, not the other way around.

Hopefully, the next time I sit in my car and wait (for what seems like eons) for a couple to cross the road, I will be grateful and remember. Grateful for a culture that slows down and enjoys the journey. And mindful of the value of relationships along the way.

midway...thirdway

2010-09-22T12:54:00.006+02:00

Midway

Saint Paul, Minnesota has long been recognized for its neighborhoods. The city has been called "fifteen small towns with one mayor", owing to the neighborhood-based life of much of the city. Midway is one of these neighborhoods, which derives its name from being midway between the downtowns of Minneapolis and Saint Paul. This neighborhood was established in the 1880's and continued to develop through the 1930's.

St. Paul is home to the largest urban contingent of Hmongs (formerly of Vietnam) in the United States. A significant number of both Hmong and Somali refugees live in the Midway area. Hamline University is also located in the neighborhood, and nearly a dozen other educational institutions are close by, which draws learners from nearly every state and from over 30 countries.

St. Paul is known for its citizen activism and Midway is no different. Numerous civic groups address local issues from urban greening to engaging youth and elders.

Interesting observation - while visiting Midway in May, I noticed that some of the intersections in the neighborhood had huge paintings in the middle of them. I found out that a group called Paint the Pavement is responsible for the initiative of “street paints.” The aim of these street paints is to develop relationships and social networks; creation of a community gathering place; calmed traffic; crime prevention; and, a local neighborhood identity.

A fun fact about Midway - Peanuts cartoonist, Charles Schultz, came from this neighborhood.

Third Way

It is into this neighborhood called Midway that God is leading our family to “pitch our tent” for the next season of life. We will join a missional community, who call themselves Third Way. The name of the community comes from the teachings of Jesus to express God’s love at all times by choosing new creative responses to the brokenness in our own lives, and the brokenness we find in the world. This means we are always looking for the third option in a world of violence and withdrawal.

Third Way is also experimenting with different ways of living out the shared life of community, and they are asking hard questions about what it means to contend for your neighbors. Whether they are running their coffeehouse, Groundswell, or working with Somali refugees, this community of 30-40 people seeks to be a redemptive presence in the Midway neighborhood.

We desire to use our gifts to assist in the shaping of a dynamic, creative, healthy community. We hope to help expand Third Way's mission in and around Midway, as well as network with other missional communities in the Twin Cities. We trust that this is the beginning of a journey that will surpass what we can think or imagine at this time.

New Global Love Economy

2010-08-25T09:41:00.003+02:00

I'm reading a book at the moment where the author ponders the metaphors Jesus would use if he lived in this day and age. I found the following to be very insightful and descriptive of the challenges we face in our world today:

Jesus might confront the global prosperity crisis by announcing the new global love economy...Our current prosperity system, as we shall see, is amazingly powerful - growing more so every day - yet it is unsustainable long-term, an example of self-delusion and denial about our creaturely limits that may be on of the most striking characteristics of modern times...

Socially, in this economy we consume time and produce fatigue, consume art and talent and produce entertainment and amusement, consume work and leisure and produce paychecks and heart attacks. And ultimately we consume communities and produce extended families, consume extended families and produce nuclear families, consume nuclear families and produce individuals, consume individuals and produce consumers, and finally consume consumers themselves and produce disembodied fragments called "wants" and "needs" and "markets" and "segments" and "anxieties" and "drives" that the economy consumes and excretes and reconsumes in a kind of cannibalistic ferment or rot. In the process, we commonly produce successful megaconsumers of unimaginable wealth who are more or less bankrupt in compassion for their poor neighbors. And in a stroke of suicidal genius, we simultaneously produce poor people whose greatest dream is to be like those megaconsumers who don't care at all about them.

That's why if Jesus were here today, I imagine he would speak frequently of the new global love economy of God - not an industrial economy, and not an information economy, and not even an experience economy, but a wise relational economy that measures success in terms of gross national affection and global community, that seeks to amass the appreciating capital of wise judgment, profound forethought, and deepening virtue for the sake of rich relationships. (Everything Must Change, p. 130-131)

The author is not asking us to remove ourselves from the reality of the world in which we live, and live in some "pie in the sky" place of religious irrelevance. Rather, I think he is encouraging us to engage the world in the most relevant of ways. In ways that truly reflect the reality of the God's kingdom and His heart for humanity.

August Newsletter

2010-08-10T12:14:00.004+02:00

Dear Friends,

As we begin to move toward Minnesota, we want to paint a clear picture of our transition within CRM. Our new supervisor, Gary Mayes, is the Director of ChurchNEXT, which is a collective of CRM ministries based in the U.S. We have asked him to give his perspective on our new role, as well as the new context in which we will be working. The following is Gary's letter:

Dear Friends of Bryan and Daleen,

By now I am sure that you know about the big transition that lies ahead for the Ward family. I wanted to write and tell you what this transition means for the rest of us. Having known the Wards for years, I am very excited about what they will bring to a new place in this next chapter.

First, indulge a little background. I believe we live in a pregnant moment of history where the U.S. is now one of the world’s strategic mission fields. The culture is racing headlong into the secular post-Christian reality that pervades Western Europe. Established churches are struggling and church plants are failing at an alarming rate. Over ½ of all congregations in North America did not see one person join through conversion last year. I know of one denomination that invested ten million dollars to launch 40 church plants to have only one succeed. Barna research reports that only 3% of 16-29 year-olds in the U.S. have a positive view of Christianity.

It is into this vortex, we are deploying Bryan and Daleen. We have asked them to help us pioneer new ways of planting and forming churches in this emerging mission field. They are instrumental to an R&D initiative that is exploring new methods, new strategies, and new ways of bringing the Gospel to life among people who are beyond the reach of—and even hostile to—traditional expressions of the church. My prayer is that in addition to reaching people for Christ we will successfully incubate pioneering efforts like this so that in years to come, our cumulative experience will be a goldmine for church planters and church planting movements on a broad scale.

We believe the church is God’s primary delivery system for hope and healing in a lost and broken world. However, this land that many of us call home cries for leaders who are courageous enough to find contextually appropriate ways to deliver the timeless truth of the Gospel.

Bryan and Daleen will work alongside Third Way, a creative young church planting community in St. Paul, Minnesota. In this role they will bring all of their experience from NieuCommunities. And, I have asked them to bring their cross-cultural sensitivities as a resource to sharpen the global work of the fifteen teams and initiatives that form this piece of CRM called ChurchNEXT.

Because you know the Wards, you understand why I am so enthusiastic about having them in a role like this. What I also hope is that for their sake and for the sake of the Kingdom, you would partner with them generously as they step into what might be the most complex and important mission field of their lives.

Grateful, for you and for them,

Gary Mayes, Director of ChurchNEXT

Sports

2010-05-26T12:11:00.004+02:00

Most people in America don't know about the sport of netball. I didn't either until my daughter, Zoe, started playing several years ago. Some people describe netball as "basketball without dribbling," which is close, but doesn't capture the actual differences and nuances of the game.

Wikipedia describes netball like this:

Netball is a ball sport played between two teams of seven players. The sport shares many similarities with basketball, having been derived from early versions of women's basketball. It developed as a distinct sport in the 1890s in England, from where it spread to other countries. Netball is popular in Commonwealth nations and is predominantly played by women.

Games are played on a rectangular court divided into thirds, with a raised goal at each short end. The object of the game is for teams to score points by passing a ball and shooting it into the opposing team's goal. Players are assigned "positions" that define their role within the team and restrict their movement on court. During general play, a player with the ball can take no more than one step before passing it, and cannot hold the ball for longer than three seconds. Goals can only be scored by the assigned shooting players.

Zoe's position is one of two shooting players on the team, and she had many games this season where she was the high scorer for her team. Although she has done quite well in netball here in South Africa, Zoe is looking forward to playing some typical American sports like basketball and soccer. Kyle is looking forward to playing football and baseball in place of rugby and cricket.

We look forward to this next season of life as we prepare to transition back to the States later this year. We hope that sports will play a significant role in helping our children to make new friends and enjoy life in America.

May Newsletter

2010-05-05T14:17:00.009+02:00

I don't mind stealing bread
From the mouths of decadence
But I can't feed on the powerless
When my cup's already overfilled

“Hunger Strike” by Chris Cornell

For years, the words to this song have haunted me. Nearly 20 years of living overseas in Russia and South Africa has opened my eyes to those I call the powerless. Not that I wasn't surrounded by such people in America, I just didn't see them so clearly. This powerless-ness can come from a lack of opportunities or resources, but it also stems from a lack of love, respect and dignity. And, even more than a lack of money, a lack of these things can be a deep burden that eats at the spirit and diminishes hope.

Africa

Over the past 12 years I have been learning about the history of South Africa specifically, and Africa in general. The history of Africa is complex, bloody and, quite frankly, sad. The atrocities that this continent has endured are countless. Unfortunately, much of the pain has come at the hands of Westerners, even missionaries.

In his book, Eye of the Needle, South African author, Richard Turner, writes:

One specific characteristic of "white culture" is a major determinant in the conflict system: the drive to accumulate wealth and the drive to seek personal satisfaction in the consumption of material goods, rather than, and often at the expense of, relations with other people. While this continues to be a dominant cultural trait, the details of the conflict may change, but the essentials will not.

I don't want to oversimplify Africa's struggles and challenges by blaming everything on “white culture.” I do, however, as a white man, want to own up to a cultural trait that seems to pervade our society. A trait that lends itself to conflict, exaltation of self and holding others down.

dec·a·dence

unrestrained or excessive self-indulgence.
moral degeneration or decay.
the act or process of falling into an inferior condition or state; deterioration; decay.

Although I see decadence as being an ever-increasing trait of our culture, I would say that entitlement is the daily form most commonly lived out. And entitlement has even seeped deeply into the Church. Entitlement is sneaky and can slip into our lives almost unnoticed. It woos our heart to demand what we want because we feel like we deserve it.

Working with NieuCommunities for the past 10 years has helped me to look at my life and its effect on others, both locally and globally. One thing I have really appreciated about working with 20-somethings is that, although they struggle with entitlement, they are asking some tough questions:

How does my lifestyle affect the lives of others either locally or in other parts of the world? For instance, do the products I buy come from a sweat shop or from child labor? How do I support free trade so that locals in poorer countries can make a fair wage?
How can I bring the reality of God's kingdom in a tangible way to those who live around me? What does it mean to be the Good News?
In what ways can I give to the powerless that shows respect for the person and helps to restore dignity to their life? Other than money, what do I have to give to those in need?

In our current global economy, such questions are necessary, even if they make us uncomfortable. Like no other time in history, our daily choices have a far-reaching effect on countless others. My hope is that the Church will choose to live counter-culturally. That we will choose to live in a way that brings good news to the afflicted, binds up the brokenhearted, proclaims liberty to captives and sets prisoners free.

With my cup overfilled,

Bryan

somebody might wave back

2010-04-21T17:17:00.002+02:00

seven o'clock in the morning
I'm riding the overnight train
I got ten tons of luggage
but I left it behind when I came

I look at my watch
it says September seventeen
we're riding through some place
where I've never been

and I'm waving through the window as we go
somebody says, 'what are you waving at?'
but what do I have to lose?
- somebody might wave back

Somebody Might Wave Back, The Waterboys

The following is a "lesson" that comes from the rough and tumble world of elementary school. Actually, I've had similar experiences in adulthood, but 4th graders are less sophisticated. Okay, sometimes they are just as sophisticated, but they wear less masks and, therefore, the "lesson" is easier to see. Where was I? Oh yes, trying to explain the world of a 4th-grader.

Okay, so two years ago my son, Kyle, was having some problems with a boy named Johan. This always baffled me because Kyle and Johan seemed to have many shared interests. Anyway, the gist of the story is that Johan and another one of his cronies used to tease Kyle until he would break down and cry. For some reason, it is fun to see your fellow classmates cry when you are in 4th grade. After graphing out the teasing occurrences and determining the correlation coefficient, I determined that this was happening often enough to warrant a trip to see the principal. And, nothing like a talking to from the principal to bring an end to a situation.

That was all two years ago. This year Kyle and Johan are in the same class. And, guess what? Yep, good friends. It is Johan, who is often in the same study group as Kyle (by choice mind you). It is Johan, who has invited Kyle away for the weekend to celebrate his birthday. And, it is Johan, who was first to offer help with getting Kyle from class to class while Kyle is on crutches after his surgery.

I have found that it is often the people that I butt heads with the most that I later end up enjoying the most if given the chance. I'm not sure how Kyle and Johan became friends, but I suppose it started when one of them took a leap and pursued the other. It might have been a seemingly insignificant leap, but it was enough to turn the tide of a relationship gone awry.

Observing this new relationship between Kyle and Johan has made me wonder, Who in my life might wave back if I would just venture to wave?

Polarized Society

2010-04-07T14:15:00.005+02:00

The events of the past few weeks show just how far South Africa still has to go as we move and work toward a society that reflects the Rainbow Nation. Race relations are tense as a result of a couple of events. Recently, the leader of the ANC's (the ruling party of South Africa) Youth League, Julius Malema, publicly sang the "Shoot the Boer" song (click here - and scroll down to find lyrics to the song). A Boer is another word for an Afrikaner, which means "farmer." My wife, Daleen, is an Afrikaner. Then this past weekend Eugene Terre'Blanche was hacked to death on his farm. Terre'Blanche was the founder of an extremist white group called the AWB (Afrikaner Resistance Movement).

Events such as these don't help us to heal from our divided past, but rather open old wounds. They heighten tensions between races, which has led to several bomb threats in and around Pretoria. One of the bomb threats was at the mall where we normally shop, and another was at a bank in our suburb. As far as I know, no bombs went off and no one was hurt. And, unfortunately, this is not the type of press we need just before the Soccer World Cup that will take place in South Africa in June/July. South Africa is a beautiful country with a lot going for it, and these type of events overshadow the reality of life for the vast majority of people.

Won't you please pray with us for the nation of South Africa. Pray for true reconciliation and healing of the wounds of the past. May we learn from the past rather than repeat it.

2010-03-16T13:04:00.006+02:00

to flow: to be plentiful

Hartebeespoort Dam is not far from where we live. On the one side of the dam wall is a placid reservoir with stunning houses perched on its shores, and all sorts of boats traversing its waters. On the other side is a steep, rocky slope and a riverbed hewn from the rocks. Some weekends we take a trip to the reservoir in order to drive across the dam wall. Cars are sometimes backed up for kilometers waiting for their chance to cross the wall in hopes that the flood gates are open. It is a quite a sight to see the water bursting forth in a magnificent, gushing stream, over the rocks and down the hill.

Daleen and I desire for our lives to flow out of us in much the same way. We want our lives to burst forth from the overflow of our “inner reservoir,” not to dribble forth like cream into coffee. One of our greatest joys is to pour ourselves into others. We love to be agents of healing, helping others to see who they are in Christ and who He has created them to be.

Upon our return to South Africa last month, Daleen and I found ourselves immediately easing into the roles of mentor or “soul friend” with many of those who live around us. We have the privilege of pouring our lives into people who live in our suburb, young leaders, local church leaders, former apprentices and co-workers. Some of these relationships take place over a cup of coffee while others take place in a more formal setting.

to flow: to pour forth

One of my long-term mentoring relationships is with Christo, a 46-year-old mechanic. Christo has been servicing cars for NieuCommunities for the past six years. When I met him, he was a “young” Christ-follower, who was hungry to grow. Although Christo and his wife, Petro, ran their own business, their passion was to bless others through their business by giving of their time, energy and money.

Three years ago, I began meeting weekly with Christo on Friday mornings. By this time, his family had already become a permanent fixture at our Sunday afternoon barbecue and worship time. The highlight of our times together is the ease at which we share our hearts, and how we encourage each other through our challenges. As we've met over the past three years, it has been a delight to hear of his inner transformation, as well as his continuing desire to work more closely with CRM.

During the course of last year, I got Christo and Petro connected with Enterprise International. The result is Christo's Cars, which buys slightly damaged or repossessed cars, fixes them and sells them at a good price. Enterprise International is a division of CRM that mobilizes business people who are compelled to serve the Kingdom by developing and managing businesses that fund ministries (for more information go to www.enterpriseinternational.org).

I have enjoyed seeing both Christo and Petro come alive as they identify their gifting, find their niche and live more “on mission.” My hope is that they will make a success of Christo's Cars and continue this kind of work far into the future. It is a pleasure to walk with others as they get a tighter sense of God's calling on their lives, and begin to live out of their true selves.

women are like tea bags

2010-03-09T11:27:00.003+02:00

There is a saying that women are like tea bags, you don't no how strong they are until you dunk them in hot water.

Recently, a well-known South African Christian singer's wife was raped. The other day, I was speaking to a friend of mine and she told me of this woman's response to this ordeal. Although the woman is waiting to find out if she is pregnant, and whether or not she has AIDS, she is praising God. She feels that God had asked her, "who will stand in the gap for my name?" and she said that she would. She feels as though God has now called on her. She feels that although her body was used, her soul was not touched and her heart was not stolen away from God.

Not knowing what kind of tea bag I will make, I marvel at her strength and unwavering love for God. I have been angry at God for far less. I have felt let down and disappointed by Him. And, although I have know my share of misfortune, I have not really tasted true sacrifice for God. I can honestly say that I would not wish to be called to stand in the gap if the gap looks like that, but maybe I could handle a crack.

I wonder if my fear keeps me from knowing true faith? I wonder if I have gotten so comfortable with my life that I don't want to be one of God's warriors anymore? I wonder if a stolen car is as much of a sacrifice as I am willing to make (someone tried to steal our car last week). I believe we all have different burdens to carry and not all of them are a call to tragedy. But if mine was, I hope I am made of stronger stuff than I think, and that it will not destroy my faith in God.

Daleen

Intentional Missional Community

2010-02-12T11:47:00.002+02:00

Daleen and I often say that we desire to live in an intentional, missional community. In my recent solitude times with God, I have been thinking through just what I mean when I say the words intentional, missional and community. Actually, I don't like to separate them because they flow so very well together. Here are some of my desires for living in such a community:

sharing meals together on a regular basis
having authentic relationships - sharing and enjoying life together
sharpening one another - could be a mentoring relationship or just doing life together
learning, worshipping and praying together
growing deeper - with one another, individually with God and corporately with God
living out Kingdom values with one another and with those who live around us
hospitality - being a welcoming haven for one another and for those who live around us
facing conflict and working through conflict
seamless, missional living in the daily places in which we find ourselves (basically living "on mission" wherever we are out of our true selves)

A couple of days ago, I was reading Romans 12. As I read the chapter I felt like it was a great commentary on intentional, missional community. Here are some highlights from Romans 12:9-21:

be devoted to one another in brotherly love
honor one another above yourself
serve the Lord
be joyful in hope, patient in affliction and faithful in prayer
share with God's people who are in need
practice hospitality
bless those who persecute you
rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with those who mourn
live in harmony with one another
associate with people of low position
do not repay evil for evil and do not take revenge
as much as it depends on you, live at peace with one another

Striving for such a life is not always easy, but I believe it is the life we are called to as the Church. And, although not easy, it is in such a community of people where we will truly be transformed, and thus the world around us will also be transformed. Because of this, Daleen and I feel called to not only participate in intentional, missional communities of faith, but to also help birth them wherever we go.

Active Waiting

2010-02-03T12:01:00.004+02:00

This morning I was sitting on my couch, fixated on one of our trees in our yard. I realized that in the 7 years of living in our house, this particular tree has grown tremendously. Of course, it was a small tree when we moved in, so perhaps it is easier to notice the growth. And, although I know that the tree is constantly growing, I just don't think about it that much. I trust the truth of what I know - trees grow.

So, back to my couch.

There I sat, thinking about the future of my family and our transition to whatever is next. Somehow my mind made the connection that waiting on God is a lot like watching a tree grow. Sometimes it just doesn't seem like there's a whole lot going on. Day in and day out I don't necessarily gain clarity or have an "ah-ha" moment. Quite frankly, it is easy to wonder if anything is happening at all.

But I know the truth, and I trust the process. There is more going on here than I can think or imagine. God is doing things that I cannot see. Some of which is happening in my own heart, the heart of Daleen and my children's hearts.

So, I wait. I wait on Him even while I actively live in the moment with all that God has called me to today. I wait and draw close to His heart so that my heart will be ready to respond when He shows the way forward.

Finishing Well

2009-12-16T18:15:00.001+02:00

It's difficult to explain the significance of saying a proper “good-bye” when one is in a period of transition. Saying good-bye to what was is as significant as saying hello to what will be, but we often forget this as me move into the future and what is next.

In October of this year, our family was celebrated by our community in grand fashion as we prepare for the future. First of all, we were treated to a wonderful dinner with just our staff team and our NieuCommunities' director, Rob Yackley. As we enjoyed our meal, words of encouragement and love, healing and hope, were spoken into our lives. What a blessing.

After enjoying our meal we made our way back to Pangani to join our wider community of apprentices and friends. When we arrived we found that the entire place had been transformed into an art gallery. But this was no ordinary art gallery. This art gallery featured pictures of remembering, letters from past apprentices that we had coached, messages from friends, as well as art that Daleen and I had done over the past 7 years. It was overwhelming in the best of ways – almost too much for a heart to take in.

There was more food, fun and a “show” featuring the talents of our local friends. There was a community prayer for our family. There was thanksgiving.

Again, it is hard to put into words what an evening like this will do for the soul. It heals, it brings closure, it releases. We are grateful for being part of an intentional community of people. It is something we will look for wherever we go.

Change

2009-12-06T09:14:00.032+02:00

December 2009

Change is a natural part of life. Without change I suppose I'd still be hitting my wife over the head with a club and dragging her off to my cave. Change is good. This year has been filled with a lot of change, and the next year promises to be filled with even more.

When Daleen and I were called to serve with NieuCommunities in South Africa we didn't know just how long we'd be here. Our calling was the strongest we'd ever sensed, and the most specific as well. We were not about to leave NieuCommunities until we were confident that God was leading us that way.

to change : to modify

This year it became clear that NieuCommunities South Africa was on a journey of its own. What we had created over the past seven years was good, and it was affecting deep change in our apprentices' lives, but it was not sustainable. It was evident that our staff was becoming less missional, and our apprenticeship was becoming more programmatic. It was obvious to our staff that it was time to go back to the drawing board, learn from our experience, and modify our course.

When I mention making some modifications, I am not talking about small changes. Rather, NieuCommunities is revamping how they will apprentice young leaders, as well as who they will be apprenticing. The team will be moving away from the suburbs and into the city of Pretoria, and they will begin to focus on apprenticing South Africans. The apprenticeship will be slimmed down and stretched out over a longer period of time, as well as less curriculum-driven and more mission-driven.

Although these are changes that Daleen and I completely agree with, we don't feel called to make these changes with NieuCommunities. We sense that it is time to pass the mantle to new leadership that will guide NieuCommunities into its future. Therefore, at the end of this year we will be moving on from NieuCommunities into our future.

to change : to deepen

The past seven years have been highly formative for Daleen and me. Most importantly, we have deepened our intimacy with Christ. We have also grown in our leadership abilities and deepened our understanding of who God has created us to be. We see our true selves much more clearly.

In light of this, we sense that God is calling us into a new phase of life and mission. We feel that we are moving toward a more focused time of ministry that will utilize our 18 years of cross-cultural experience with CRM, as well as a clearer understanding of our personalities and gifting.

to change : to move

Daleen and I are both wired to mentor/coach others, helping men and women reclaim their hearts and all that God has for them. We also enjoy creative worship, unleashing creativity in ourselves and others, and encouraging creative expression. We want to help people better understand their spiritual formation in order to be transformed in their love relationship with Jesus. And we see ourselves using our hospitality gifts in an intentional community of people.

What we feel called to can happen pretty much anywhere in the world. Therefore, in order to help us better understand where God might be leading us, we are going through a Mid-Career Assessment at the CRM home office on December 9-10. We want to continue working with CRM, but we are not sure where we will be located. Daleen and I both sense that we will be leaving South Africa, which would most likely mean a move to America or Europe sometime next year.

to change : to pray

Please pray with us:

for clear direction.
for peace in moving away from South Africa. We have been amazed with how God is bringing peace to our children's hearts already. Daleen's dad is in ill-health and we know that it will be emotionally hard on her parents if we move away.
for attacks of the enemy to be thwarted – we have been facing some pretty tough attacks lately. In this, we are focusing on who God is rather than on what the enemy is able to do.
for needed financial resources – in light of the future, we need to raise about $1200 per month in new support - monthly, yearly and one-time gifts all help to provide for this need.

Much love and many thanks for partnering with us, Bryan, Daleen, Kyle and Zoe

Simplicity

2009-10-05T11:51:00.003+02:00

If there was ever a practice that flies counter to our current culture, then it is simplicity. In the world in which we find ourselves, we often define the “good life” by how full, busy and complicated our lives are.

Simplicity is a word rich in meaning. Simplicity is a lifestyle. It is also a spiritual discipline. In her book, Spiritual Disciplines Handbook, Adele Ahlberg Calhoun writes, “Simplicity cultivates the great art of letting go. Simplicity aims at loosening inordinate attachment to owning and having. Simplicity brings freedom and with it generosity” (p 74). She also states that the desire behind the practice of Simplicity is “to uncomplicate and untangle my life so I can focus on what really matters.” Beautifully said.

Each year as part of NieuCommunities South Africa we try to live in the spirit of Simplicity. A couple of years ago, one of our staff members challenged our staff and apprentices to live for a month on half of our “disposable” income. That means once we have paid all our bills for the month we try to live on half of what is left over. So, for us our disposable income included all money spent on food, entertainment, petrol, school, etc.

Of course, Simplicity month is not only about money. As a matter of fact, it isn't primarily about money. It is about seeking first the kingdom of God and living in a way that is in sync with His kingdom. Therefore, we take time to examine our schedules, our relationships, our desires and addictions. I also make it a priority each year to limit the amount of time each week that I check the exchange rate and our financial giving report. These are areas where God is calling me to deepen my trust in Him.

We have done this for a couple of years now and I am amazed at what we can save in one month's time if we truly scrutinize how we are spending our money. Of course, the announcement of Simplicity month is usually met by groans too deep for words by our children, but by the end of the month I'm amazed at how well we've all adapted. We are more conscious of how much water we use, how many lights are on, or if we truly need to make a trip in the car or not.

The practice of simplicity is changing the way our family sees and engages the world around us. For some years now when Kyle and Zoe pray before a meal, they will always remember those who live on the streets and pray for their needs. When we, as a community, took part of the Simplicity money and bought blankets and bread for the homeless in our area, Kyle and Zoe pleaded to go along. They wanted to be a part of caring for others. They wanted to be a part of bringing God's kingdom in a tangible way to real people with real needs. That is the spirit of Simplicity.

“Simplicity creates margin and spaces and openness in our lives. It honors the resources of our small planet. It offers us the leisure of tasting the present moment.” - Adele Ahlberg Calhoun

cricket is upon us

2009-08-04T12:33:00.007+02:00

So, it's August, which means it's time to get out the ol' cricket bat and pads and gear up for another season. I realize that many Americans don't know much about cricket, and I must confess that I used to call it "baseball with a 2x4." Yes, that was before I fell in love with the game and became an avid fan.

Cricket is an interesting game with great words like "wicket" and "yorker" and "fine leg". You actually bowl the ball rather than pitch it - bowling means you can't bend your arm and throw the ball. You bowl "overs," which means that you bowl 6 balls in a certain direction, then another bowler comes and bowls the opposite direction for an over.

A professional game is 50 overs of bowling for each team and a game will last about 8 - 9 hours. Yes, that's a long time and usually the clincher for most Americans when asked why they don't like the sport. At Kyle's age the game is a mere 30 overs for each team, which means it only lasts for 4 hours. But cricket is a culture and it takes time for one to get enculturated. However, before you know it, you will love going to matches and having a barbecue during the game.

Kyle started out this season with a bang by taking 4 wickets. Okay, what in the world does that mean? Well, a team can bat for all 30 overs or until they lose 10 wickets (or 10 guys get "out"). Once either one of those two things happens the teams trade places and the batting team bowls and vice versa. In any given game your team gets to bat once and bowl once. So, by taking 4 wickets, Kyle got 40% of the other team out. In any case, it's very good and we were extremely proud of him.

Speaking of batting, you always have two players batting at the same time. A "partnership" if you will. Now, the batters stand at opposite ends of the pitch (an area were the balls are bowled) and both have to get safely across to the other side in order to score a run. If the batter really hits the ball hard it can bounce or roll across the boundary rope (there is no "fence" in cricket) and the batter scores 4 runs. If he hits it in the air over the rope, then he gets 6 runs for his team.

I understand that I have given you a lot of information for one sitting. Cricket sounds much more confusing than it actually is. I suppose the only way to actually understand the game is to go see it live. If nothing else, you will probably eat well, and who can complain about that?

kingdom pictures in the dance of the everyday

2009-07-30T09:29:00.011+02:00

<Over the past several months, God has been leading my heart to be attentive to the everyday stuff of life. To see Him in the ordinary things of life, the routine, the moments of my day. In his book, The Great Dance, C. Baxter Kruger writes of the beautiful "dance" of the Trinity that we are invited into. Unfortunately, we often miss this extraordinary invitation as we separate the "sacred" and the everyday by using categories in our minds like spiritual and secular.

Kruger writes, Jesus is the light of the world. He is the secret, the key which unlocks the mystery of babies and baseball, fishing and barbecues, romance and love. He is the light which illuminates the mysteries of our humanity, from cooking supper and managing a hardware store and painting houses to friendship and laughter and music. It is all the way the dance of the Trinity is being played out in us.

When you see the Trinity and the incarnation for what they are, you are poised to see yourself and your life in a new light, the true light. You are poised to see that there is nothing ordinary about you and your life at all. You and your life are the living expression of the glory and joy and beauty and love - the great dance - of the Father, Son and Spirit.

So, this week we find ourselves with the assignment to look for pictures of the kingdom as we go about our lives. Armed with nothing more than a camera we are to capture these pictures where we see the Kingdom being lived out. I chose yesterday to document the moments of my life where I felt I could see the realities of God's kingdom. To the left, there are a few of the pictures that I took.

First of all, early in the morning I waited for two of my good friends, Craig and Bonnie Ward, who are leading a group of InterVarsity students on a 6-week trip to S. Africa and Malawi. I was asked to help lead a trip to Pilanseberg National Park for the day. As I waited in front of my house, I had the growing anticipation of seeing my friends and going to one of my favorite places. Their headlights made for a nice picture and signified the beginning of a beautiful day spent with people I love.

At Pilanseberg, we had the joy of watching a herd of zebra from an underground viewpoint. It felt like a gift to find zebra playing and interacting just meters away from us as we got a glimpse into the beauty of God's creation. Later that day, we found giraffe at another lookout point. As I watched this group of university students enjoy the scene together I thought about the beauty of relationships and what a joy it is to share incredible sights with people we know and love.

When I returned safely home that evening, I was tucking my son into bed when he suddenly grabbed the hat off my head, put it on his own head and smiled up at me. A small moment, but one that was so meaningful to me. As I left his room, I went to say "Goodnight" to my daughter and I found my wife reading a story to her. Somewhere in the midst of the story my daughter had fallen asleep. Laying so peacefully next to her mother I was reminded of God's great care for me, and my family.

Again, these were all small moments of my day - all together they may have made up 5% of my day. However, when viewed through the eyes of God's invitation to join Him in the great dance of the Trinity, I sense His joy as I enjoy my life and the moments of my day.

Hospitality

2009-07-09T10:05:00.005+02:00

Imagine a church building. It's a sizeable structure centered in the middle of a large city. When you walk in off the street you encounter thousands of people taking shelter and living in the church building. You ask around to find out exactly what is going on and you notice that many of the people you meet are not South Africans, but from other countries in Africa. You hear of fights, stealing, even murder. You are shocked and begin to wonder, “Who would allow such atrocities?”

I recently attended a gathering called Amahoro (“shalom”), which was focused on reconciliation in a post-Colonial Africa. People gathered from all over Africa and around the world. It was an excellent time of building partnerships with others, who long to see Africa healed of the scars of Colonialism. With others, who would love to see the Church in Africa become truly African.

At the gathering, a Methodist pastor from Johannesburg spoke about his church's reaction to last year's xenophobic attacks on foreigners. He told how the Central Methodist Church became, and still operates as, a shelter for approximately 3000 refugees. He didn't give a glorified version of this massive endeavor, but spoke of the challenges and struggles of being “hospitable” to those in need.

When this pastor shared that there have been two murders in the church building I was shocked. My initial thought was that it is inappropriate for something like that to happen in a church building. Then I was struck by another thought. Would it be better if the murders would have happened in a cold, dark alley or someplace else in the city? In some other place where we, the Church, wouldn't have to be confronted by it?

As I continued to think about Central Methodist Church throughout the day, I thought about all the reasons I have for not doing something like they are doing. And stories of murder, well, that just goes to prove the point. But does it prove a point? Should we not give refuge to those in need because there are risks? Should the Church not do something radical while the world stands by and watches people murdering one another? In the newspaper there was a picture of a policeman, who stood by and watched a Zimbabwean burn to death. He was set alight by his “neighbors.”

Although I don't feel called to do what this Methodist pastor is doing, I do feel challenged by it. I know I can grow in the area of meeting the needs around me. I know that I can open my life and my heart to the poor, hurting and destitute. I know that our churches can be more responsive in a spirit of hospitality to those who are in desperate need.

In NieuCommunities we are reading Making Room: Recovering Hospitality as a Christian Tradition. The author, Christine Pohl, lays out the history of hospitality, and the changes in our understanding and practice of hospitality. One reason hospitality has declined is that government and other specialized institutions have taken over filling these needs – generally in professional and non-personal ways. In essence, hospitality has been minimized in our local churches and relegated to our domestic and civic shperes of life.

Pohl writes, “With little attention to the church as a key site for hospitality, the institutional settings for Christian hospitality diminished and the understanding of hospitality as a significant dimension of church practice nearly disappeared.” Hopefully, with churches like Central Methodist leading the way, churches will begin to reclaim the transforming practice of Christian hospitality.

The Clinic and the Church

2009-06-26T09:45:00.005+02:00

Every third Thursday of the month I drop the kids off at school and head to the local government health clinic. As a permanent resident of South Africa, I receive my monthly medicine for free, which is a wonderful blessing. On these trips to the clinic I am privileged to see another side of South Africa. First of all, of the 60+ people waiting in line, I am one of five or so white people, which includes the staff. Secondly, I am exposed to "the system," which many South Africans battle on a daily basis. A trip to get medicine at the clinic can last anywhere from an hour to two hours or more. Thirdly, before the clinic officially opens, I get to take part in an interesting "church" experience.

Although this "church" experience raises several questions for me, I must say that I respect the staff and enjoy watching them in action. They always greet the waiting crowd when they arrive to work. One by one as they come through the door, the staff give a big "dumelang" to those waiting on the pew-like benches. And, everyone in the pews returns the greeting. It's nice and friendly. You get a sense that the staff genuinely cares about what is happening at the clinic. I can't say that for most government agencies I've experienced.

Okay, so we've established that these are good-hearted people so let's get back to "church." Once the staff has arrived, one of them will come to the front of the counter and stand in front of the pews - uh, I mean benches. After a bit of small talk, they will begin to "preach" - not that we are getting exegesis, but we are getting Jesus. This little sermon can last anywhere from 5 to 15 minutes. I must admit, they are usually quite thought-provoking. After the "sermon" is over, we are asked to stand so that we can pray. Sometimes we are asked if there is someone who would rather not pray, but I've noticed that no one ever raises their hand. We all stand and pray out loud at the same time - what I have come to call "African-style prayer."

So, although I enjoy this cultural experience, it has raised some questions for me. First of all, I wonder if this is actually an abuse of position and power. Is this what Jesus meant when he gave us the commission to go into all the world and make disciples? Is this kind of experience honoring to those who don't want to participate? Or do the ends justify the means? "People hear the gospel," we say, "therefore, we have been faithful." Or have people heard the gospel. I wouldn't want a person of another faith to espouse their views at the clinic and then ask me to pray. I would probably feel violated because I had no choice to be there or not.

I also think we make a lot of assumptions about the place of the Church in society. I am often guilty of thinking that the Church needs to be in a prominent position in society in order to be effective. However, history shows that the Church is truly most effective when it is on the fringes of society. Having position, power and authority has rarely been an effective way of transforming people's lives.

I understand that I may have opened a whole can of worms here, but I do want to think through our methods of sharing the gospel and our ideas about being the Church. I have done some things in my past that were called evangelism, but felt more like I was being sneaky or taking advantage of people. These felt more like shoving the gospel onto people rather than sharing the gospel with people. How do we follow God in the way of Jesus so that we speak the truth in love while honoring people and giving them the best shot at hearing and experiencing the gospel?

Let's dialogue.

Passion

2009-05-13T08:11:00.009+02:00

I remember when I was a young Christian and the zeal I had to please God in obedience. I still desire to please God, and to walk in obedience, but I often don't feel that same excitement that I had when all was new. Over the past 25 years there have been times that I've found myself asking God to restore those feelings. Why?

I suppose it is a bit like marriage. I can't keep living off the emotional rush that I used to get just by holding Daleen's hand. Truth is, the emotional rush fades. A deep love takes over and you find yourself loving and pursuing for different reasons. What motivates me in my love relationship with Daleen? with God? Perhaps it is a knowledge that deep fulfillment, true joy or the best happiness I can find, will be found in that deeper pursuit. In that place that I seek contentment, rest and peace.

I also believe that I will find my passion there. Passion doesn't come from a half-hearted relationship. Not with my wife. Not with my kids. Not with my work. And, certainly, not with God. I want to live a life of passion. Or maybe it's better said that I want to live my life out of my passions. I am often tempted to find passion through adventure, but I think I have it backwards. Adventure is found in living out my passions. I would venture to say that a life without passion is a life half-lived.

Passion gets some bad press because it has been perverted and abused. It is not lust, but rather a deep and abiding driving force that compels us into the inner sanctum of the heart. I suppose that is why we refer to the suffering of Jesus as the Passion.

God's invitation to man includes an invitation to live out our passions with Him. I think of moments where God and I seem to be operating out of a oneness of spirit. Where He seems to be flowing in and through me. Being knitted together in a way not easily described by words. However, I find that these times don't happen in a vacuum. They come from a life of living in His presence. A well-known writer once said that in our relationship with our children quality time flows out of quantity time. It seems to be the same with God.

Attentiveness

2009-04-27T13:39:00.002+02:00

I don't want to be one of those people who always needs to have a brilliant story or a clever word to share. And so, as I contemplate and consider what to write, I realize that I actually have many things to share, but they are things of the everyday. They don't seem so earth-shattering or exciting, and thus, they don't seem worth sharing.

Unfortunately, this is how I have often lived my life. Always looking for the earth-shattering or exciting thing to keep me going. Big events to help me keep my focus on God. However, over the past few years God has been reminding me that He comes in the gentle whisper (1 Kings 19:12). He's that still, small voice. And, He asks us to “be still...” as well (Ps. 46:10).

I suppose I'm learning to be attentive. Attentive in the everyday things of life. Or better yet, attentive to God in the everyday. Things that appear so natural can suddenly seem quite supernatural. God's daily involvement in my life becomes real and tangible, personal and meaningful. His presence is more easily perceived and entered into.

Attentiveness doesn't just affect the way I experience God, but it also affects the way I interact with the people and world around me. I am learning to slow down and build “margin” into my life. To listen to what is being said, or not said. To notice the reactions of others, or how I react myself. To take time to observe, consider, think and meditate on. Time to enjoy. Time to see. Really see.

And when I am living with a high level of attentiveness I can hardly help but to be on mission. I am more other-centered. Having lived in tight community for a number of years now, I can say with some certainty that community is not born out of proximity, but out of attentiveness. No matter how close I live to those around me, I will not build deeper relationships if I don't pay attention and respond accordingly.

It seems that being attentive helps form the backbone of a life richly lived.

April Newsletter

2009-04-13T09:43:00.005+02:00

Today.
I just returned from the hospital. The nurse has informed me that she is dead. She passed away on Thursday, after 3 weeks of fighting for her life. The fight is over. I can't believe it, although I did fear it. I knew it would take a miracle. I have been praying for weeks, so now what? I struggle to make sense of it. I can't even remember her name, but I'll never forget that face.

Two weeks ago...
It was a Friday night, which meant that Rhythm, our creative worship and prayer gathering, was in full swing. The theme of the evening was attentiveness. Being attentive to God and His heart for us, those who live around us and the events of our day.

At some point in the evening, we were given a local newspapers to read. The assignment was to ask ourselves what God might have to say about local events. What's on God's heart? What's He saying in this situation? What does He want to say? How might we be a part of what God is doing or wants to do?

On the front page of my newspaper there was an article about a 14-year-old girl from Soshanguve, where many of our staff and apprentices minister throughout the week. Apparently, the girl was struck and severely burned by some high voltage cables as she was walking to school with some friends. The reason the cables were exposed and violently swinging across the sidewalk is because they were in the process of being stolen. Stealing electrical cables is big business in South Africa. Apparently a deadly business as well.

My heart was struck by this story and the picture of this teen-ager with her winsome face and beautiful smile. I felt sick inside thinking about the suffering she was experiencing. As the evening ended, I wanted to forget about this poor girl, but I couldn't get her out of my head. I was haunted by the question of how I might be a part of what God was doing in this situation.

Daleen and Kyle were home sick, so I asked Zoe if she would go to the hospital with me to pray for this girl. Once we reached the hospital, it took just 10 minutes of hunting and explaining before I was ushered into room 13 of the Intensive Care Unit. What I found was a person burnt beyond recognition. My heart broke. Thankfully, she was heavily medicated and asleep because all I could do was stare. I finally regained my composure and asked the nurse if I could pray. I didn't know what to think as I returned home that evening, I just knew that I needed to pray for the girl.

A few days later I returned to pray again. The diagnosis wasn't good, but there was still hope. Shortly after my second visit I came down with a throat infection and was unable to return to the hospital. I was burdened with periodic thoughts of this suffering girl and her family, and continued to pray. Finally I was able to return. That was today.

What now?
As I returned to my car today, I was filled with sorrow. And, I was angry. Why would God lay it on my heart to pray for this girl only to have her die? Situations like these are painful and confusing. I believe I was faithful to what He called me to do, and I believe that God is working in ways that I will never fully understand this side of heaven, but I'm still grieved by her death. I have a sense of mission as I continue to pray for the girl's family as they mourn their loss. I also eagerly await the day when I get to see the other side of this tapestry that God is weaving.

Our Common Covenant

2009-02-23T11:53:00.002+02:00

We recently finished our 3-week orientation for 2009 with a recommitment to our common covenant. Although our staff personalizes the following covenant to fit their unique gifting and calling, I thought it would be interesting to share our common NieuCommunities' staff covenant with you. Our covenant is built on Communion, Community and Mission, the three threads that run through all that we do. Hopefully, this will help you to know our hearts and the heart of NieuCommunities a bit better.

Our Common Covenant

Communion

We will make the Triune God the center of our lives by:
• praying together for our world, our neighborhood, and one another
• reading scripture together
• worshiping together
• exploring and practicing other spiritual disciplines together
• celebrating and finding joy in the beauty and goodness of God’s creation
• taking a weekly Sabbath and periodically retreating together
• individually extending and expanding on these practices for our own spiritual formation

Community

We will journey together and strengthen one another by…
• living in the same neighborhood
• opening our lives and homes as places of invitation and hospitality
• gathering at least once a week over a common meal
• caring for and submitting to one another and God’s Spirit for guidance
• sharing stories and reflecting on God’s work in our midst
• living increasingly more simply and sharing our economic resources with each other and with those in need
• gathering weekly to be intentionally formed as missional leaders by living the rhythm of listening, submerging, inviting, contending, imagining, and entrusting
• inviting others to join us and allowing them to participate as much as they are able

Mission

We will join in and incarnate the good news of Jesus where he is not known and followed by…
• submerging into neighborhoods of cultural, ethnic and economic fusion, and learning to help people of different classes and colors live and work side-by-side.
• recognizing the earth is the Lord’s and we are called to care for, protect, and work towards its redemption as part of the whole of creation
• occupying the already existing places in our neighborhood—or creating a place if it doesn’t already exist—to be with the people God longs for
• discipling people who want to follow Jesus into a relationship with him
• mentoring those from our neighborhoods to be people of peace and influence
• partnering with our neighbors—as a missional community—in a few carefully selected, kingdom-oriented initiatives that we will engage together and help advance
• inviting our neighbors and friends to join us in periodic gatherings to experience the goodness of God
• living out the fullness of life that God has uniquely created, gifted, and called each of us to live
• apprenticing young leaders to engage all of the above with us and to live missional lives wherever they go

All The Buzz

2009-02-02T13:08:00.002+02:00

Community has been a buzz word for quite some time now. Being a part of a community. Building community. Helping to start a new community.

I find that people love the idea of community. Being a part of something bigger than oneself. Being surrounded by like-minded people, who long for the same things. Pursuing a common purpose in the spirit of unity.

Like most people, I also dream of how the community I am a part of will lift me up. Edify me. Help me to be more like Jesus. And, secretly, fill some of that void that lies deep in my heart. Yeah, I can be a bit self-centered on occasion. The occasion usually being each brand new day.

Truth is, community is hard work. Okay, okay, I know you've probably heard that before, but it's so true. Today we begin our 7th year of NieuCommunities South Africa. And I am amazed that I am a bit apprehensive about moving toward community with 8 new people that I've never been in a community with. Is it because I'm secretly afraid of community? I don't think so.

I think the apprehension lies in the fact that true community calls me to be totally and completely reliant on Jesus. Not that I don't want to be totally reliant. Problem is that I've lived with myself for a few years and I know that I don't always do that. I enjoy this funny little thing called control, and in my attempt to control I lose the very thing I'm striving for.

I also know that true community calls me to serve. I like to serve others! That is, until they tick me off, get under my skin and eventually fall onto the inevitable list of "those who don't deserve to be served." Yes, dying to self and becoming servant of all is the call of the day if you want true community. In my attempt to get my way I squander the very thing I'm longing for.

Finally, I know that true community calls me to be vulnerable. To allow others to see (and experience) those dastardly parts of me that I don't even like to admit I have. It's hard to wear a mask in community. No, let me rephrase that. It's easy to wear a mask, but it's hard to find one that others can't see through. Again, in my attempt to protect myself, I miss the very thing I am hoping for.

So, why is it that I keep fighting for community year after year? The answer is simple. I have tasted it's fruit. The shaping of my life. The transformation of my character. A growing ability to love the seemingly unlovable. A blossoming desire to die to self. A thirsting after righteousness. A hunger for His kingdom. This is why I keep fighting for community.

and give you peace

2008-12-19T18:53:00.002+02:00

Daleen sent this out to some of her friends last week and I asked if I could post it here. Enjoy.

I wanted to share a story with you: One that reminds me of the old woman who gave the two coins as offering. Remember how Jesus said she gave more than anybody because she gave everything she had.

A few days ago we took my dad out to Nando's (a local restaurant) for lunch. The lady who waits tables have been working there for ever, but it is not because I go there often that I remember her, it is the way she serves that left an impression on me. This day was no different than any other she was helpful and sincerely friendly. I gave her a very big tip and she was so grateful that it made me want to give her more. Actually it put me in a real giving mood. I even prayed and ask God to help me find ways to give this Christmas season in a way that might not necessarily change lives but that will give joy. I am having a lot of fun handing out the joy of Christmas in small ways.

But this story is not about me, I thought it was when I sat down this morning with my tea. I was thinking about giving and the joy it brings to those who give and those who receive, wishing I had lots of money to just go crazy and give all over the place. And this was when God reminded me of the lady at Nando's. She gives everyday and blesses lives with her giving, she blessed me and my family, but what did she give? The gift of money or things - no. She gave a greater gift. She gives the only thing she has. She gives herself. Her gift will last for ever, and I'm sure my tip was well spent, but long gone.

Is this not the meaning of Christmas? Jesus gave the greatest gift, He gave himself.

May you experience the joy of this season and all that it holds.

HeArt

2008-12-15T08:58:00.003+02:00

December 2008

Dear family and friends,
Each year it is a privilege to follow God's call on our lives. To live out the deep desires of our hearts. To pour into young leaders and others who live near us. To live missionally as we engage the world around us.

Each year it is also a privilege to be poured into. To be challenged by those we work with and those we lead. To be mentored by those more mature. To be pursued by a loving God. To be led into deeper realms of the heart.

At the end of each NieuCommunities' year, both staff and apprentices create a heArt project, where we share what God has done in our hearts through art. Mosaics, sketches, photography, paintings, sculptures and interactive visual arts have all been used to help convey the shaping of our hearts. Daleen and I would love to share our heArts with you.

Bryan - Humility
There are three words that come to mind as I think of this year – darkness, brokenness and humility. My heart journey began in January as I read a small, powerful book in our sitting room. The book, From Brokenness to Community by Jean Varnier, was already striking a deep chord within me. On this particular morning, however, it stopped me in my tracks. It was a simple sentence about how living in tight community helps us to see the darkness of our hearts. How we have lived our whole lives in a spirit of competitiveness, rivalry, anger and jealousy.

After reading this sentence I was unable to read further. I kept trying, but I couldn't. It was as if God was shining a bright light, if ever so briefly, into my heart. He offered me a glimpse beyond the veil, to the areas of my heart that need deep healing. The darkness was overwhelming. I was appalled.

As the year moved on, the image of being prostrate before God kept coming to mind. I didn't feel like I was prostrate myself, although I did feel like I was moving that direction. It's as though I was happy to be kneeling before God, but lying prostrate seemed too uncomfortable, too broken. Who wants to be broken?

In the latter part of the apprenticeship we read another small, powerful book called The Tale of Three Kings by Gene Edwards. The book looks at the life of David and how he related to Saul, who was king over him, and Absalom, who was trying to take the throne from him. It is convicting, asks hard questions and offers no easy answers. The way in God's kingdom is brokenness and humility.

I know that God is breaking me. Not to destroy me, but to use me. I wish I had room to share how God is doing this, however, those stories are probably better left for a long conversation over a good cup of coffee. This journey towards humility won't be a short one, and it doesn't promise to be an easy one, but it is definitely a necessary one.

Daleen – Coming into my own
“Life is a foreign language: all men mispronounce it.”-C Morley

Sunset over the African bushveld, baby elephants, the sound of water falling, tea in a pretty teacup, Lavender and Calla lilies. Zoe in the morning when she is still warm from sleep, red nails and high heels, thunderstorms. Kyle's eyes when he is excited, old things with new life, baby toes. Bryan's hand on the small of my back when he guides my path. These are a few of my favorite things!

I am 37; I have always disliked my chin and my big arms, I hate feeling stupid and I have bad luck with card games. I am painfully “anal” when I host people and at other times I couldn't care less. I read the end of a book first to see if is worth spending time reading the whole thing. I purposefully leave laundry in the dryer because I hate folding it.

I have spent a lot of time over the past years fighting against myself. I have struggled with my identity, my looks, my parenting and my gifts. I have learned to accept some and I have changed others. It has been a long and sometimes painful journey, but at the end of this year when I had to create a heArt project, I found that I was good with ME.

I felt settled into who God has created me to be. I still dislike some things about myself, and need to grow so much in some areas of my life, but overall I have made peace with Daleen. I like who I am, where I am going and what God wants to do through my life. To tell you the truth it was not that easy to accept. We are so used to being discontent with everything that when we find peace we don't always know what to do with it. Enjoy it! revel in it! flaunt it- it is a great gift from God – and I love it.

My heArt project is about taking off the masks that are so heavy to carry around with us. It is about accepting my past and being intentional with my future. It is about calling my mistakes “experiences” and becoming better because of them. It is about living the adventure and enjoying the journey.

“Many a woman has a past, but I am told that she has at least a dozen , and that they all fit.” -Oscar Wilde

Your HeArt
As you reflect over this past year, we trust that you will see all that God has been doing in your heart. Take some time to think, journal, paint, draw or sculpt, then offer it and yourself back to Him as a gift of thanks. For Christmas is a time to celebrate the fact that He has pitched His tent among us.

Merry Christmas, Bryan, Daleen, Kyle and Zoe

simple

2008-10-31T09:31:00.006+02:00

Two weeks ago we had the privilege of hosting Annemie Bosch, wife of the late author and missiologist, David J. Bosch, in our home. Spirituality of the Road and Transforming Mission are both very well known, although I have only read the first of these two books (however, I would highly recommend both). During the evening Annemie said, "We try to live simply so others can simply live." This is not a new thought to me, but I was struck by the power of this simple statement.

Since that conversation with Mrs. Bosch, I've thought a lot about what it means to live simply. It seems to be more of a process and a movement than a destination. Truly, when can one say that they are living simply enough? It is more of a mindset. A mindset that takes others into account. A mindset that evaluates daily decisions in light of their local and global effects. A mindset that grapples with being content.

Now I've got an old song stuck in my head. One whose lyrics seem to fit this topic so very well:

I dont mind stealing bread
From the mouths of decadence
But I can't feed on the powerless
When my cups already overfilled

-Hunger Strike by Temple of the Dog

Bryan

Caring for Creation

2008-10-08T09:33:00.007+02:00

Over many years, and at various levels, I have considered God's creation and our relationship to it as Christ-followers. I've always loved being in nature whether it be in the mountains of Central California, the beaches of Southern California, the forests of Russia or the bushveld of South Africa. However, in my early days as a Christian, I began to think that God's creation was given to man to rule over, and, therefore, we could do with it as we please. I don't know if I would have said this directly or not, but I kind of felt like it was all going to H, E, double toothpicks in any case, so let's us it as it seems fit for man. Perhaps this came out of a fear of deifying nature, or perhaps it came from the way I used to view the end times and the future of the earth.

In more recent years, I've wondered why the Church is rarely on the frontlines in the battle to conserve God's creation. And not just to conserve nature, but to use its resources for the common good of all men. Unfortunately, I see much of the exploitation of God's creation predominately benefiting the rich of the world. This has been easier to see during my years in Russia and South Africa, but I know this is certainly the case in most, if not all, of our world.

So, how do we relate to God's creation as His children? NieuCommunities South Africa recently hosted a two-day workshop to discuss just that. Our guest speaker was the director of A Rocha South Africa, Alan Goddard. A Rocha (The Rock) is an international organization of Christians in conservation. The workshop was not only very helpful in working through a more holistic theology of creation, but it was also very motivating at a personal and practical level.

A big takeaway for me was the idea that care for God's creation truly begins at home when we decide to live differently in a way that is more in balance with God's creation. And we don't take care of God's creation just for ecology alone, but rather in order to care for humanity (ie. caring for the poor). This can happen as we begin to re-imagine “the good life.” Is it the American dream or is it the dream of our God as He created the earth and all that is in it?

John Stott wrote, “We human beings find our humanness no only in relation to the earth, which we are to transform, but in relation to God, whom we are to worship; not only in relation to the creation, but especially in relation to the Creator. God intends our work to be an expression of our worship, and our care of the creation to reflect our love for the Creator. Only then, whatever we do, in word or deed, shall we be able to do it to the glory of God (I Corinthians 10:31).”

May it be so.

For more information: http://www.climatestewards.net/why/index.php

Raising the Dead

2008-09-11T07:56:00.004+02:00

Have you ever felt like God was asking you to pray for someone to be raised from the dead?
Yeah, neither have I. God has asked me to do some seemingly crazy things, but never that. If God did ask me, I would prefer to pray silently in the privacy of my head. So, why all the talk about raising people from the dead? Let me introduce you to Hope.

Hope is one of the guys, whom I have been discipling for the past three years. He is a person who always seems to have a smile on his face and is happy to see you...who makes you feel at ease and readily shares his heart...he is fun, loving and is consistently seeking God's heart concerning his life. That is Hope.

Okay, back to praying for the immediate resurrection of the dead. The story took place over the period of a couple of weeks, and began when one of Hope's neighbors was diagnosed with AIDS. Hearing of the situation, Hope began praying for the young man.

As Hope prayed, he felt like God was saying, “Nothing is impossible with Me.” A few days after Hope began praying, the young man died. Hope continued to pray. And the words “nothing is impossible with Me” kept coming to mind. Hope began to wonder. The young man who died was prepared for burial, and the family began making plans for the funeral. This whole process would take more than a week to finalize. All the while, Hope continued to pray.

In the days just prior to the funeral, Hope began to believe that God was calling him to pray for the young man to be raised from the dead. So, he prayed silently. As the funeral plans were made, it was Hope's church that was called upon to officiate the funeral. Tentatively, Hope asked the woman in charge if he could pray during the service. She agreed. At this point, I think Hope was desperately wanting God to release him from his growing conviction that he was to publicly pray for this young man.

Well, the funeral came and Hope began throwing out some “fleeces.” Prayers such as, “If the preacher talks about faith, then I'll know God is calling me to pray for this young man.” You know what I'm talking about, we've all been there. So, what does the preacher talk about? James 2 - “In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.” That, for Hope, was the last straw.

Asking for permission to pray, he was invited forward. And, to everyone's surprise, he asked if they would open the casket. As he began praying, the woman in charge realized what he was praying for, and quickly had Hope escorted away.

Unfortunately, the story doesn't end there. News of what happened got back to Hope's pastor (it's important to say that his church is one of the biggest and most influential in Soshanguve). The pastor wanted to hear nothing of the whole story, but rather just what happened at the funeral. He was obviously upset. Hope asked for forgiveness, but rather than receiving forgiveness, he was told that he was “fired” from church. Yes, excommunicated. Mind you, Hope was not on staff, he was merely a member of the church. The reaction has both hurt and confused Hope.

I continue to meet with Hope on a weekly basis. We've had some good talks about the events, but he is still healing from the wounds of the experience. I've told Hope that I am proud of him – he was faithful in a way that I'm not sure I would have been, had I been in his shoes.
Was he right in doing what he did? I don't know. What I do know is that Hope was trying to be obedient, even if it didn't make sense to him. And that is commendable.

a little lemon, a lot of rose

2008-09-02T21:14:00.007+02:00

All I knew about my recent spiritual retreat was when I was suppose to leave. Bryan spent hours typing up notes, ideas and guidelines for my time away. Some of it meditative, some encouraging, but all filled with love just for me. I had two days planned out by the two men who love me most, the lovers of my soul. God and Bryan.

From the moment I stopped at The Lemon Rose Farm, I knew the time was set for wooing my heart. The garden had many nooks and crannies full of beauty and creativity. It even had a waterfall calling to my soul. My room was, of course, even better. It had a fireplace, jacuzzi bath, china teacups, a private patio overlooking the garden, and flowers and chocolates from Bryan.

I spent my time sipping lots of tea, drinking in the beauty of God's creation as I listened to the melodies of nature. God spoke to my heart about His pure enjoyment of me. Not only me the mother, wife, etc., but the “me” I so often bury under the responsibilities of life.

These two days were a pursuit of my heart, a reminder that God made me beautifully and wonderfully for His purposes. That my true identity s that of a warrior princess. That the parts of me that I bury are a part I withhold, not only from God, but from those around me. A reminder that He meant me to be whole as I minister to my husband, my kids, and those He brings across my path. In these two days I felt God delight in me, and I delighted in Him.

Wild @ Heart

2008-08-22T08:34:00.013+02:00

Do you ever feel like you're faking it? Like somewhere in your journey with God you began feeling the pressure to be a “good Christian” so you slowly began wearing a mask. Or perhaps you feared rejection and wanted to fit in. And, since the other people in your church seemed to have it together, you began to act like you did too.

We all struggle with this at some point in our lives. Actually, many struggle with this for much of their lives. The Bible talks a lot about this problem of wearing a religious mask, otherwise known as hypocrisy, and Jesus addresses it on numerous occasions in the Gospels (see Luke 11, 12). As a matter of fact, it seems to be the one thing that upset Jesus the most. In the pages of the Gospels we find Jesus constantly confronting the Pharisees in the most direct and...how can I say it? Let's just say that He doesn't mince words.

Hypocrisy and religiosity are prevalent in the Church in South Africa, as they are in most places. And in my experience they seem to be especially prevalent in the townships. For a long time the guys I meet with have sensed that something isn't right, but it's just the way things are done. Basically, it's just standard operating procedure, if you will.

So, that brings us to the Epic Quest retreat that we hosted near Soshanguve, a local township. The content of the retreat was based on the book Wild At Heart by John Eldredge, which has had a big impact on my life. Each time I've read it, I have been challenged to deeply engage my heart and live in the fullness of who God has created me to be.

During these Epic Quest retreats, men are taken on a journey of the heart that not only exposes the masks that we wear, but also the wounds our hearts have suffered. And, as we face the these challenging issues, we encounter the Father's great love for us. Our hearts drink in the fact that we are the beloved of God.

In the two retreats that I have participated in, I am greatly encouraged by the responses of the young men from Soshanguve. Their honesty and willingness to face the past is courageous, and their willingness to remove their masks is heartening. And, although a good amount of their woundedness comes from nonexistent fathers and the absence of male role models, it seems that many of their masks come from imitating those who lead them in their churches. A sobering thought.

So our weekend together marks the beginning of a long journey. A journey that my teammate, Doug, and I will continue to walk alongside these young men. A journey towards living life to the fullest in partnership with God. A journey towards freedom.

Community Psalm

2008-08-06T10:04:00.004+02:00

This is a community psalm that we recently wrote as part of our Friday Night worship and prayer time that we call "Rhythm". This was written in response to a time of worship that centered around our identity in Christ.

Lord, how much of You is in each day?
More than I could ever be aware of.
Praising You, I come seeking Your face,
You are my Refuge,
Your love drifts around me like air,
And I eagerly drink it in.
Oh Lord, my God, my Love, my Joy,
My Peace, my Provider, my King;
Let my life be a living testimony of Your magnificent love for me!
For You alone have made me whole,
Your grace, Lord, is beyond anything I could imagine.

The Lord of Love my Shepherd is,
I am His and He is mine forever.
You are my still calm waters,
And the fierce water that crashes upon the shore,
You take this frail vessel
And make something beautiful in Your time.
Oh Lord, my God,
Thank you for Your love.
Understanding what you are doing in the struggles and victories of others,
Gives life to my soul,
May I seek this understanding more often.

I was born to serve You, Oh Lord,
May Your love be upon me forever and ever.
You are too near to me for me to see You,
Too close for me to understand.
I am compelled by the colour of your countries,
Your voice is deeper than all roses,
No one, not even the rain, has such small hands.

And when all is said and done,
When the sun dips low and the stars reveal themselves in the heavens,
You write Your special name on my heart,
And claim me as Your own.
I will not forget the wonderful things my God has done for me,
For this, I am forever grateful.
For I am accepted, secure and significant,
Thank you for the Lamb,
Worthy is the Lamb,
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He touches me in my innermost being.

Not For Sale

2008-07-23T15:01:00.013+02:00

This past week at Rhythm (our Friday night creative worship/prayer time), two of our apprentices showed a documentary about human trafficking, the sex industry and modern-day slavery. Most of the people affected by these horrendous injustices are women and children. It's hard to believe that such things still take place in our day and age. Although I was aware of many of these things, I was shocked by how widespread the problem is (including the U.S.).

This is one of the great blessings of community - we are able to learn from one another's passions. The heart of two of our apprentices has now informed the rest of our community. They have made us aware of issues that burden the heart of God. Actually, issues isn't the right word. These are people we are talking about, who are used and abused in the worst ways. And the "least of these" always seem to be on the heart of God.

This week in NieuCommunities South Africa we are talking about justice, spiritual warfare and our Contending God. God-of-the-Angel-Armies, as the Message puts it. We'll be using Isaiah 58 as a source of "alternative" spiritual disciplines in our spiritual practices time this week. The chapter is full of references to the kind of people, who are on the heart of God (see verses 6-9). How do we fight on behalf of the poor, oppressed, homeless, hungry, ill-clad (naked), etc.? Are any of these on your heart? If so, we'd love to hear your stories of mercy and how you are contending for those who suffer.

Related websites:
http://www.notforsalecampaign.org/ (Not For Sale)
http://tradeasone.com/ (Trade As One)

Happy 90th Birthday Nelson Mandela

2008-07-18T20:52:00.002+02:00

Today we celebrate a man, who helped unify a nation that could have torn apart at the seams. In honor of Nelson Mandela I'd like to share some of his quotes:

If there are dreams about a beautiful South Africa, there are also roads that lead to their goal. Two of these roads could be named Goodness and Forgiveness.

There is no such thing as part freedom.

If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy. Then he becomes your partner.

There can be no keener revelation of a society's soul than the way in which it treats its children.

There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart.

It is better to lead from behind and to put others in front, especially when you celebrate victory when nice things occur. You take the front line when there is danger. Then people will appreciate your leadership.

A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination.

In my country we go to prison first and then become president.

Selah

Love Your Neighbor

2008-05-28T13:44:00.007+02:00

So, we pitched up at City Hall at 9:40 ready to march at 10:00 through the streets of Pretoria only to find that there were scarce few people gathered. Obviously, we were disappointed. However, once we located the organizers they assured us that busloads were on their way. The estimated numbers were 5,000, but in the end, I would guess that just over a thousand of us took to the streets. We basically walked for an hour from City Hall to the Parliment Buildings to deliver a document of "demands" to representatives of the President on behalf of foreigners, and more specifically, Zimbabweans.

A truck, equipped with a sound system and a number of chant leaders, led the way. I spent most of the time trying to stay in step with my "comrades" as we (well, mostly the Africans) chanted and sang, drawing the attention of those who lived in the apartments overlooking the streets of downtown. I also spent a lot of time thinking about this process and wondering why there were only 8 whites in this sea of people. The lack of white participation made me sad. Where were all the white people? How come I had never done something like this before? Is it fear? Does it just seem like a big waste of time? The questions linger. Sadly, the Africans seemed much more surprised by my presence, than by the lack of white participation.

Some have asked me why I would do something like this since I don't have a track record of demonstrating, protesting and marching. I guess the plight of Zimbabwe has been on my heart for a long time. What is happening there is simply inhumane. I wanted to stand in solidarity with those who are suffering - I thought it would help them to see there are people who love them and want the best for them. I also wanted to help bring their suffering to the attention of our fellow citizens, as well as those in power. I suppose I've been more and more convicted of staying in my "safe" zone and avoiding such events. The more I read the Gospels, the more I sense that it's places like this where I might have found Jesus...with those who are suffering.

All in all, the march on Sunday probably had the biggest impact on my heart than anything else. This has helped to propel me into action on what has become a very serious situation in our country - latest news is that 42 people have died and tens of thousands have been displaced from their homes due to violence. I am helping to collect food, blankets (it's winter here) and clothing for refugees, who live in and around our area. Also, NieuCommunities has made a room available to a husband and wife from Zimbabwe who are working in the area, and several of our apprentices are working with refugees in different parts of the city. If you would like to see a video of the march follow this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1nA9PmK_NU

Camping with Jesus

2008-05-08T09:09:00.010+02:00

For my 43rd birthday I asked Daleen to plan a two-day personal, spiritual retreat for me. Although I have covenanted with our community to take such retreats for my health, as well as the health of our community, I still felt like I needed to justify the time. Why is it that? Does it feel too self-centered? Perhaps. Or somewhere in our soul do we feel unworthy of such a time? Perhaps.

Well, I figured I'd better just get over myself and take the retreat. However, I also knew that it would be easy to try and justify the retreat by doing lots of spiritual stuff - reading deep books, searching for that nugget of truth that would shape this year, blah, blah, blah. Therefore, I gave the reins to my wife and asked her to plan my time away.

Knowing my propensity to please others and justify my actions, Daleen set about planning the trip. First of all, she did a great job of reminding me of what the retreat was all about - basically, being with God in the same way that I would hang out with a good friend. No agenda. No pressure. This was a time for me to "be" together and enjoy the beautiful surroundings (it is His creation by the way). She encouraged me to not think too much, but rather to just be there with God. I thought about this and realized that when I'm with good friends I don't feel the pressure to talk about deep things. Or to talk at all. Sure those things happen, but I don't have to "make it happen."

The second thing Daleen did was to pick a place. A rustic cabin in a wooded ravine near a bubbling brook in the middle of a game reserve (where wild animals live). Do I need to say more? Is there a better place for a couple of guys to hang out, bond and deepen their love for one another? Maybe for you, but not for me.

Thirdly, she kept the agenda simple. Breathe deeply from the stomach and walk with God, enjoying His creation with Him. Doing that is like balm for my heart (as the Russian saying goes). Leave all books at home except the Bible and a novel. Basically, the two days were focused on one verse, "Be still and know that I am God." Or as the Message says, "Step out of the traffic. Take a long, loving look at me, your High God..." Day 1 - find some animals and as you enjoy them consider what it means to be still at the core of your being, then ask God to meet you there. Day 2 - find some animals to enjoy and consider what it means to know that He is God.

I won't ruin this by making some big deal out of all I learned because I didn't "learn" anything. I did, however, realize that it was easy to spend two days in silence with my Maker. I must confess that I was a little apprehensive about spending two days in silence. In reality, on those few occasions when I did need to speak (to avoid being completely rude to others), I found myself yearning for silence. I didn't want to see anyone or talk to anyone else, I was God's and God's alone.

By the second evening as I sat next to the campfire I realized just how peaceful my heart was. It wasn't some huge revelation, but rather a gentle awareness that my heart was in the place it was created to be - basically, enjoying His presence.

subMERGE

2008-04-04T09:57:00.000+02:00

It's great to be reminded year after year that the learning postures (listening, submerging, inviting, contending, imagining and entrusting) are just as much for me as they are for our apprentices. "Apprentices of Jesus" was actually the theme of our recent NieuCommunities' worldwide staff conference that was held in South Africa (see photo).

We recently began our second learning posture of the year - Submerging. As we begin this posture I find myself asking the question, "What does it mean for me to surbmerge after living in South Africa for nearly 10 years?" In so many ways I have sunk roots in South Africa -we are surrounded by Daleen's extended family, our kids go to a local Afrikaans school, I own a house, we have some deep relationships, I know people in the local community, I am part of a staff team that has been together for years, etc. So, where is God calling me to submerge?

During our NieuCommunities' conference, God impressed on my heart to "go deeper with fewer." Thus began the process of examining my life and asking God who those "few" might be. Then I noticed that as I wrote my personal covenant for the year that I was tempted to ambitiously pursue more than Christ might be calling me to. I wanted to add more people and opportunities without necessarily listening for God's leading. Why? To prove that I am doing worthwhile ministry? Is "more" better? As my wife likes to say, "Sometimes less is more."

I also sense that he is calling me to go deeper with our staff team. I find that living in intentional community doesn't necessarily mean that we all have deep relationships. And while I know that I can't know everyone to the same depth, I also know that I need to pursue our staff team more deeply. They are the ones who are travelling with me long-term.

Submerging isn't just related to others. There are things of the heart that God is walking me through and asking me to engage at a deeper level. There are also parts of my personality, as well as skills and knowledge that I want to grow in, especially in the areas of spiritual formation, coaching/mentoring and creative worship experiences. And finally, I desire to identify more deeply with Jesus and love Him more fully.

Obviously all of this won't happen at once. This is what I want to work into the fabric of my life - my days, weeks and months. As I move forward I will continue to listen, be intentional, take time to examine my life and, perhaps most importantly, give myself some grace. I invite you into this journey with me - where is God calling you to submerge more deeply?

Release and Entrust

2008-02-28T10:30:00.000+02:00

Luc and Petunia have been on staff with NieuCommunities South Africa for the past 3 years. This Friday evening we are entrusting and releasing Luc and Petunia into the fullness of their calling with InnerChange in the township of Soshanguve. The evening will be filled with the symbolism of our (NCSA) releasing and entrusting, as well as symbols of receiving and embracing by InnerChange and those who live in Soshanguve. It is a time of commissioning and communion. An evening of remembering and dreaming. A time to celebrate the realization of prayers, hopes and dreams. It is a time to examine once again the passion of our calling, both individually and corporately.

Won't you please join us in spirit as we celebrate all that God has done, is doing and will continue to do? You have played a role in the transformation of a life, a family, a ministry, a township, a country. May the following be true for us all:

As I go I will not refuse any destination for:
Wild blows the wind of the Spirit.
As I go I will embrace all that crosses my way, for:
Wild blows the wind of the Spirit.
As I go I will open my heart to the good in all creation, despite my reservations for:
Wild blows the wind of the Spirit.
As I go I will hold close to your Word and give all to you for:
Wild blows the wind of the Spirit.
As I go I will not be bound by my weaknesses nor limited by my strengths for:
Wild blows the wind of the Spirit.
As I go I will see each struggle as a place of learning, and welcome any companion who wishes to journey with me, for:
Wild blows the wind of the Spirit.
As I go I will not be tempted to predict or plan for outcomes, I will relish all of the surprises, for:
Wild blows the wind of the Spirit.
As I go I will take the greatest risks possible, for:
Wild blows the wind of the Spirit.
The Divine is not my destination on this journey, for the Christ travels with me, guides me, sustains me, lifts me. You, Lord, are the journey itself. Across the face of this planet…
Wild blows the wind of the Spirit.

In the wind of the Spirit, Bryan

Brokenness

2008-01-31T12:53:00.000+02:00

I recently bought a book by accident. At least it seemed like an accident at the time. I was trying to buy the book Community and Growth by Jean Vanier, but accidently threw From Brokenness to Community into my outbasket on Amazon. I eventually noticed the mistake and decided to keep the book since it was inexpensive and sounded intriguing.

God actually had other plans for that little book and me. Have you ever had an epiphany? Or perhaps it's a better question to ask if you've ever seen yourself so clearly that you can't deny what you see? Well, that's what happened when I got to page 29 and read the following words, "Community is the place where are revealed all the darkness and anger, jealousies and rivalries hidden in our hearts." As I read those words, it was like the veil was lifted and I saw my heart of hearts. I was floored...shocked...even scared at what I saw hidden in the deep recesses of my heart.

In that moment I realized how much of life is spent hiding all those areas of our lives that we just don't want others to see. We know they are there, but we try to block them from our minds and move through life with a sense of dignity. I can pinpoint these areas that "need some looking into" in other peoples' lives with considerable ease, but for some reason I turn a blind eye to my own darkness, anger, jealousy and rivalry.

Since reading page 29? Some tearful apologies and asking for forgiveness. I've also seen that it is in my weakness (brokenness), that I offer the unique gift of healing and life to others on our team and in our community. Weakness actually draws others out, while pride tends to keep others at arm's length.

As we start a new year with a new group of apprentices I find myself tempted to once again impress and show others all that I am capable of. For some reason we always seem to think that our relationships with others will be better if they only see the best of who we are. It's a tragic temptation. However, as Vanier writes, "All my life I had been taught to climb the ladder, to seek promotion, to compete, to be the best, to win prizes. This is what society teaches us. In doing so, we lose community and communion." In the end, that seems to be a high price to pay just to look good in others' eyes.

are you happy?

2008-01-11T16:33:00.000+02:00

I've lived outside of the United States for more than 16 years. That's 40% of my life. Most of this time has been spent in countries that were not as "prosperous" as the U.S. I've often wondered what makes life "good." I've noticed that earlier on I often equated "happiness" with "material blessing," but over the years I've witnessed a "happiness" (our perhaps a peacefulness) with people that had little in the way of material things.

Recently I saw an interesting article on Yahoo: "The World's Happiest Countries". There were two lists compiled by the University of Michigan. The first list was compiled by asking individuals "Taking all things together, would you say you are: 1. Very happy, 2. Rather happy, 3. Not very happy, or 4. Not at all happy?"

The top five countries? 1. Nigeria 2. Mexico 3. Venezuela 4. El Salvador 5. Puerto Rico. Hmm, not exactly the wealthiest places on earth.

Another list was based on people's responses to the question, "All things considered, how satisfied are you with your life as a whole these days?" Who were the top ten? 1. Puerto Rico 2. Mexico 3. Denmark 4. Colombia 5. Ireland 6. Iceland 7. N. Ireland 8. Switzerland 9. Netherlands 10. Canada. I scanned the list and found the U.S. at number 15 and South Africa at number 41.

Obviously, there was a lot more to the studies than these two questions, but this has made me think a lot about what makes me happy. I can talk a good talk when it comes to traditional "church" answers, but what truly sustains me and keeps me peaceful and enjoying life to the fullest? Again, throw away your preconceived ideas about what is "supposed" to make you happy (or joyful, if you must), and allow yourself to be completely honest before a God, who won't be shocked. I'm learning to allow him to meet me in the midst of this struggle and to lead me into deeper waters.

So, what makes you happy?

our invitation to you

2007-12-16T10:57:00.000+02:00

This blog is an invitation for you to join us in this great adventure called life. It's not meant to be a monologue where we will simply tell you what we are doing, but rather it is meant to be a conversation of sorts where we can exchange thoughts, ideas, hopes and dreams. It is also a space where we may ask you to pray for the challenges we face, or help you better understand the things we are experiencing. It is a space that will help you to know us more deeply, and be connected more fully with all that God is doing in and around us. Through all of this, we hope that we will all be drawn to pursue our Creator more passionately and love Him more relentlessly.